inanimate things. Ask any one to tell you what he knows about himself,
and he will begin to tell you how he differs from others. Thus the
individual's conception of himself is largely a product of his social
experience.

The self is first known as wish or will, and probably that always
remains the core of any one's conception of himself. That is to say, I
think of myself first of all as wishing, aiming, purposing, resisting,
striving, competing. But I may come to know myself more objectively.
By dint of experience I know something of my limitations. I know I am
not muscular enough to do this, nor mathematical enough to do that,
nor artistic enough to do the other. In this progressive age, some
children even know their own IQ. We {557} have frequent occasion to
measure ourselves against others, or against tasks, and lay some of
the lessons to heart. Though most of us are probably inclined to
overrate ourselves, many will be found to give a pretty exact estimate
of themselves. It is surprising that this should be so, in view of the
tendency to believe what one wishes, and of the deep-seated desire for
superiority or at least against inferiority. It shows that, after all,
there is a good deal of fidelity to fact in our make-up.

The word "self-assertion", which has been used more or less throughout
the book as a name for the native tendency to resist, persist, master,
dominate, display oneself and seek social recognition, can now be seen
to be not entirely a good word for the purpose. It seems to imply that
the self-assertive individual is necessarily conscious of the self.
From what has just been said, it can be seen that this would be
putting the cart before the horse. The self-assertive impulse
precedes, consciousness of self follows and depends on self-assertion.
A true estimate of oneself and one's limitations arises from
self-assertion plus experience of failure and the necessity of giving
up and submitting.

Self-assertion is not identical with selfishness. Selfishness aims to
get, self-assertion to do. Selfish behavior is, however, often
dictated by self-assertion, as when a person wishes to get and have,
in order to be able to show by his possessions what a great man he is.
But sometimes self-assertion squelches selfishness, leading a person
to renounce present gain without hope of later gain in compensation,
just because he sees in such renunciation the best chance for mastery
and proving himself "the captain