e judicial and magisterial proceedings are of a very primitive
character, and where most of the people speak Irish as their
vernacular. One old chap declined to give evidence in English, and
asked for an interpreter. The magistrate, who knew the old wag, said,
'Michael Cahill, you speak English very well,' to which the old man
replied, ''Tis not for the likes o' me to conthradict yer honner, but
divil resave the word iv it I ondhersthand at all, at all.' There was
a great roar from the Court, and the interpreter was trotted forward.
Another witness was said to have been drunk, but he claimed to be a
temperance man. 'What do you drink,' said the magistrate. 'Wather, yer
honner,' said the total abstainer. 'Jist pure wather from the spring
there beyant,' and then he looked round the Court, and slyly added,
'Wid jist as much whiskey as will take off the earthy taste, yer
honner.' He was like the temperance lecturer who preached round
Galway, and was afterwards seen crushing sugar in a stiff glass of the
crathur at Oughterard. When he was caught redhanded, as it were, he
said, 'To be sure I'm a timprance man, but, bedad, ye can't say that
I'm a bigoted one'!

"We want Morley to give us a light railway from Clifden to Westport,
and then we'd have the whole coast supplied. But he's a tight-fisted
one as regards practical work. We've no chance with him, except in
matters of sentiment. He wants to give Home Rule, but we can't eat
that. And my impression is that we are fast drifting into the position
of the man who has nothing, and from whom shall be taken the little
that he hath. As to arguments against Home Rule, I do not think it a
case for argument. That the thing is bad is self-evident; and
self-evident propositions, whether in Euclid or elsewhere, are always
the most difficult to prove. Ask me to prove that two added to two
make four, ask me how many beans make five, and I gracefully retire.
Ask me to show that Home Rule will be bad for Ireland, and I will make
but a slight departure from this formula. I say, on the supporters of
Home Rule rests the _onus probandi_; they are the people who should
show cause, let them prove their case in its favour. Here I am, quite
satisfied with the laws as they now are. Show me, say I, how I shall
benefit by the proposed change. That knocks them speechless. In
England they may make a pretence of proving their case, but in this
country they are dumb in the presence of Unionists. They canno