represents a typical Irishman driving a
"conthrairy pig," which is supposed to stand for Tim Harrington. The
interesting animal is deviating from the right way, gazing fixedly at a
milestone which bears the legend, "IX. miles to College Green." His
master gives him a cut of the whip and a jerk of the rope, and thus
addresses the wayward Tim, "Arrah, don't be wastin' yer larnin', radin'
milestones. Ye're not goin' to Dublin--ye're goin' to BRAY!" A Phoenix
Park orator who sang amusing songs finished his appeal for coppers
thus, "Sure, Home Rule is a splindid thing--an iligant thing intirely,
an' a blind man could see the goodness iv it wid his two eyes. Didn't
ye all know Tim Harrington whin he hadn't the price iv his breakfast?
Didn't ye know him whin he would dhrop on his two marrowbones and thank
God for the price of a shmell of calamity-wather" (whiskey). "An' now
look at him! D'ye mind the iligant property he has outside Dublin? An
ye'll all get the like o' that, every bosthoon among yez, av ye get
Home Rule. But yez must sind _me_ to Parlimint. Sure I have ivery
quollification. Wasn't I born among yez? Wasn't I rared among yez?
Don't I know what yez wants? An' didn't I go many a day widout a male?
Aye, that I did, an' could do it again! Sind _me_ to Parlimint, till I
get within whisperin' distance of Misther Gladstone--within whisperin'
distance, d'ye mind me? Ye'll all get lashins of dhrink, an' free
quarthers at the Castle. An' all ye have to do is to pay me, an' pay me
well." Here the speaker laid his finger along his nose and broke into a
comic song having reference to "the broad Atlantic," which he chanted
in a brogue almost as broad as the Atlantic itself.

The better class of vacillating Nationalists are ready to give a
plausible reason for the faith that is in them. You cannot catch an
Irish Home Ruler napping, nor will he admit that he was ever wrong. He
will talk to the average Englishman about Irish rights and Irish
wrongs, Irish virtues and Irish abstinence from crime with a reckless
disregard for truth that can only be born of a firm belief that Irish
newspapers are never read outside Ireland, and will then walk off and
plume himself on the assumption that because he met no point-blank
contradiction he has duped his victim into believing the most absurd
mass of wild misinformation that was ever crammed down the throats of
the most gullible of his rustic countrymen. It must be admitted that
they are sh