th one straight cut of the scissors get out of this tramp a handsome
Persian and a sea-cow.

A PERSONATION: WHO AM I?

My enemies declare I was alike faithless to friend or foe; my partisans,
that I was a martyr. In either case, I expiated my follies and
weaknesses with my life, as had my grandmother before me. I was born at
Dunfermline, November 19, 1600, and died January 30, 1649--not an old
man, as you see. I was heir to great possessions, and held a high
position, but I lost land, fortune, and honor. When young, my great
friend, also a favorite with my father, obtained a hold on me, and
induced me, as soon as I succeeded my father in my inheritance, to begin
my career by paying no heed to my people's wishes. I was very obstinate,
and as determined as my people to carry my point, and we soon fell out.
What I could not gain fairly, I tried to obtain by treachery, and the
result can be readily guessed. I introduced many measures; none of them
were liked, and the struggle as to who would conquer--the one or the
many--began. My habits were extravagant, but then I had fine tastes;
collected many beautiful pictures, which, alas! at my death, were
scattered, never again to be a collection. The painter Vandyck was a
favorite of mine, and when he lay dying I sent my own doctor to attend
him, but in vain. He painted several likenesses of me and my family. I
had very warm friends, who stood by me in all my troubles, but nothing
could save me; and at last, January 15, 1649, I was put on trial for my
life. My judges were prejudiced against me, and I was not allowed to
plead my own cause, so was adjudged worthy of death. All agree, friends
and foes, that I met my fate bravely, and when you find out who I am,
"remember" the last word I spoke. My family were scattered and poor.
Afterward my eldest son avenged my "murder," as he considered it, but
three of my judges escaped, and found shelter in America. There was,
however, a taint of falsehood in all of us, and my children's children
were at last dispossessed of what had been my inheritance.

What most grieved me was not my losses, but remembering how many friends
suffered with me; and, spite of all my faults, few have been more loved.

[Illustration: WILL IT BITE?]

[Illustration:

CHARLES. "What did you have for Dessert to-day, Lil? We had Omelet
Sho-Fly!"

LILLIE. "What is that?"

CHARLES. "Oh, papa says it's French for blowed."]

End of Pro