ou know he asked me if you
were not related to us? and I said, 'Oh, yes, you were.'"

"Fanny!" says Lady Jane.

"Well," answered the other, "did not Grandmamma say Mr. Titmarsh was her
cousin?"

"But you know that Grandmamma's memory is not very good."

"Indeed, you're wrong, Lady Jane," says my Lord; "I think it's
prodigious."

"Yes, but not very--not very accurate."

"No, my Lady," says I; "for her Ladyship, the Countess of Drum, said, if
you remember, that my friend Gus Hoskins--"

"Whose cause you supported so bravely," cries Lady Fanny.

"--That my friend Gus is her Ladyship's cousin too, which cannot be, for
I know all his family: they live in Skinner Street and St. Mary Axe, and
are not--not quite so _respectable_ as _my_ relatives."

At this they all began to laugh; and my Lord said, rather haughtily--

"Depend upon it, Mr. Titmarsh, that Lady Drum is no more your cousin than
she is the cousin of your friend Mr. Hoskinson."

"Hoskins, my Lord--and so I told Gus; but you see he is very fond of me,
and _will_ have it that I am related to Lady D.: and say what I will to
the contrary, tells the story everywhere. Though to be sure," added I
with a laugh, "it has gained me no small good in my time." So I
described to the party our dinner at Mrs. Roundhand's, which all came
from my diamond-pin, and my reputation as a connection of the
aristocracy. Then I thanked Lady Jane handsomely for her magnificent
present of fruit and venison, and told her that it had entertained a
great number of kind friends of mine, who had drunk her Ladyship's health
with the greatest gratitude.

"_A haunch of venison_!" cried Lady Jane, quite astonished; "indeed, Mr.
Titmarsh, I am quite at a loss to understand you."

As we passed a gas-lamp, I saw Lady Fanny laughing as usual, and turning
her great arch sparkling black eyes at Lord Tiptoff.

"Why, Lady Jane," said he, "if the truth must out, the great haunch of
venison trick was one of this young lady's performing. You must know
that I had received the above-named haunch from Lord Guttlebury's park:
and knowing that Preston is not averse to Guttlebury venison, was telling
Lady Drum (in whose carriage I had a seat that day, as Mr. Titmarsh was
not in the way), that I intended the haunch for your husband's table.
Whereupon my Lady Fanny, clapping together her little hands, declared and
vowed that the venison should not go to Preston, but should be sent to a
gentleman about