h, if they do not produce
a permanent suppression of love, lead to its temporary interruption.
Many things we should connive at, others we should pass by with an
unprovoked mind, and in all things most carefully avoid even what at
first may seem to be an innocent disputation."

The real basis of adaptation is mutual respect and love. Neither the
husband nor the wife must judge each other too critically. The
indiscreet word, or error of any kind, must never be allowed to cause a
doubt as to the heart's deep affection. Gentleness, patience, time, will
give ample opportunity for the full sunlight to break forth. Each heart
needs the other for true happiness. It must be a united life. In
"Hiawatha" we read the true relation:

"As unto the bow the cord is,
So unto the man is woman,
Though she bends him, she obeys him;
Though she draws him, yet she follows,
Useless each without the other."

The married life, to be supremely happy, must be thoroughly unselfish. I
was once on shipboard with a tourist who was accompanied by his wife,
but for whose opinion he seemed, even to other travelers, to show but
little respect. The voyage was a long one, and while the wife's bearing
was most gentle and kindly, his manner impressed me as thoroughly
selfish. I do not imagine that he was aware of the abrupt and strongly
personal quality of his bearing toward his refined and cultured wife.
With all his wealth he lacked that appearance of tenderness which is
more than gold or precious stones.

No effort must be spared by either husband or wife to contribute to the
other's happiness and comfort. It does not require a long time,
especially when living together, for one to see what will please
another. This desire to please, strengthening with the days and years,
revealing itself in a thousand kindly ways, will do more than any thing
else to make the home a paradise on earth.

Cowper gives the true secret of a beautiful and strengthening reciprocal
adaptation:

"The kindest and the happiest pair
Will have occasion to forbear;
And something every day they live
To pity, and perchance forgive.
The love that cheers life's latest stage,
Proof against sickness and old age,
Is gentle, delicate and kind:
To faults compassionate or blind,
And will with sympathy endure
Those evils it would gladly cure."

I believe the Germans excel all others in literature in their warm
tributes to