but in my own, even under the greatest misfortunes a droll
conceit will more rally my crushed spirits than all the moral
consolations that Blair ever penned.

"If this be the _junior_ lord of the Admiralty," thought I, "how
venerably patriarchal must be his four seniors!" I smiled at the idea
as I bowed.

Let us describe the person that smiled and bowed to this august
assembly.

Figure to yourself a tall youth, attired in a blue cotton jacket, with
the uniform button, a once white kerseymere waistcoat, and duck
trousers, on which were mapped, in cloudy colours--produced by stains of
black-strap, peasoup, and the other etceteras that may be found in that
receptacle of abominations, an ill-regulated midshipman's berth--more
oceans, seas, bays, and promontories, than nature ever gave to this
unhappy globe. Beneath these were discovered a pair of dark blue
worsted stockings, terminated by a pair of purser's shoes--things of a
hybrid breed, between a pair of cast-off slippers and the ploughman's
clodhoppers, fitting as well as the former, and nearly as heavy as the
latter. Now, this costume, in the depth of winter, was sufficiently
light and _bizarre_; but the manner in which I had contrived to decorate
my countenance soon riveted all attention to that specimen of the "human
face divine," marred by the hand of man. Thanks to the expertness of
Mr Pigtop, my eyes were singularly well blackened, and the swelling of
my face, particularly about the upper lip, had not yet subsided. Owing
to my remaining so much, since my arrest, in the obscurity of the
between-decks, and perhaps to some inflammation in my eyes, from my
recent beating, I blinked upon those before me like an owl.

"As-ton-ish-ing!" said my Lord Whiffledale. "Is that Mr Ralph
Rattlin?"

"The same, my lord," said Captain Reud. "Shall I introduce him to your
lordship?"

"By no manner of means--yet--for his father's sake--really--
ridiculous!--Henry, the fifth baron of Whiffledale--ah! black eyes,
filthy costume, very particularly filthy, upon my honour. How is this,
Captain Reud? Of course, my present visit is not official, but merely
to satisfy my curiosity as a gentleman; how is it that your
first-lieutenant permits the young gentlemen to so far disgrace--I must
use the word--the service--as you see--in--in my young friend, there,
with the worsted stockings, and swelled lip, and--black eyes--"

When I first made my appearance, all the captains then