ally not have
enough left to pay for a bathing-machine.

* * *

A Thames bargee was knocked down by a taxi-cab at Kingston-on-Thames last
week. A well-known firm has offered to publish his remarks in fortnightly
parts.

* * *

The West Dulwich man who struck a rate-collector on the head with a
telephone claims credit for finding some use for these instruments.

* * *

Sir ERIC DRUMMOND has purchased the largest hotel in Geneva on behalf of
the League of Nations. It is said that he has been taking lessons from Sir
ALFRED MOND.

* * *

Following closely upon the announcement of the noiseless gun invented in
New York comes the news that they have now invented some sound-proof bacon
for export to this country.

* * *

It is stated that the man who last week said he understood the Rent Act was
eventually pinned down by some friends and handed over to the care of his
relatives.

* * *

According to a morning paper another Antarctic expedition is to be
organised very shortly. We understand that only those who can stand a
northern wind on all four sides need apply.

* * *

It is reported that a poultry-farmer in the West of England is making a
fortune by giving his hens whisky to drink and then exporting their eggs to
the United States.

* * *

A golf-ball was recently driven through the window of an express train near
Knebworth. We are informed however that the player who struck the ball
still maintains that the engine-driver deliberately ignored his shout of
"Fore."

* * *

An amazing report reaches us from Yorkshire. It appears that a centenarian
has been discovered who is unable to read without glasses or even to walk
to market once a week.

* * *

The unveiling of one of the largest Peace memorials in the country is to
take place on Armistice day this year. We hear that both the PREMIER and
Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL have expressed a desire to attend unless prevented by
the War.

* * *

Smart furriers, declares a fashion-paper, are pushing Beveren blue rabbit
as one of the chic furs for the coming winter. The rabbit, our contemporary
goes on to explain (superfluously, as it seems to us), is naturally blue.

* * *

On a recent occasion a meeting of the Dolgelly Rural Council had to be
postponed, the members being absent hay-making. Parliament, on the other
hand, has had to stop making hay owing to the Members being away in the
country.

* * *

The Ministry of Food states that the period