e like so many lances
A bosom of teak.

* * * * *

HARD TIMES FOR HEROINES.

"Oh, Bertram," breathed Eunice as she glided into his arms, "if Ernest
knew, what would he think?"

At this point of my story I admit that I was held up. I myself couldn't
help wondering how Ernest would regard the situation. He was a perfectly
good husband and, personally, I preferred him to Bertram the lover. I might
get unpopular with my readers, however, if they suspected this, so I
continued:--

"Ernest can never appreciate you as I do, dearest," Bertram whispered
hoarsely; "he is cold, hard, indifferent--"

Again I paused. If Eunice had been the really nice girl I meant her to be
she would have asked Bertram what on earth he meant by saying such things
about her husband, and would have told him the shortest cut to the
front-door. In which case she might never have got into print.

The fact is the poor heroine of fiction has a hard time of it nowadays.
Someone ought to write a treatise on "How to be Happy though a Heroine," or
uphold her cause in some way. Twenty-five years ago she lived in a halo of
romance. Her wooers were tender, respectful and adoring; she was never
without a chaperon. Her love-story was conventional and ended in wedding
bells. To-day--just see how her position has altered. Generally she begins
by being married already. Then her lover comes along to place her in
awkward predicaments and put her to no end of inconvenience, very often
only to make her realise that she prefers her husband after all. Or, on the
other hand, the modern writer does not mind killing off, on the barest
pretext, a husband who is perfectly sound in wind and limb and had never
suffered from anything in his life until the lover appeared. The poor girl
will tell you herself that it isn't natural.

Then there is the compromising situation. Magazine editors clamour for
it--in fiction, I mean. We find the heroine flung on a desert island, with
the one man above all others in the world that she detests as her sole
companion. It is rather rough on her, but often still more rough on other
people, as it may necessitate drowning the entire crew and passengers of a
large liner just in order to leave the couple alone for a while to get to
know each other better. And not until they find that they care for one
another after all does the rescue party arrive. It will cruise about, or be
at anchor round the corner,