ould clear them of the imputation of being concerned in any
more pernicious to the government. These two conjectures meeting, they
thought themselves obliged to dispatch two important adventures, which
they had not yet been able to compass.--There was an old covetous
miser in the neighbourhood, who notwithstanding his age, was in
possession of a very agreeable young wife. Her husband watched her
with the same assiduity he did his money, and never trusted her out of
his sight, but under the protection of an old maiden sister, who never
had herself experienced the joys of love, and bore no great
benevolence to all who were young and handsome. Our noble inn-keepers
had no manner of doubt of his accepting a treat, as many had done, for
he loved good living with all his heart, when it cost him nothing; and
except upon these occasions he was the most temperate and abstemious
man alive; but then they could never prevail with him to bring his
wife, notwithstanding they urged the presence of so many good wives in
the neighbourhood to keep her company. All their study was then how to
deceive the old sister at home, who was set as a guardian over that
fruit which the miser could neither eat himself, nor suffer any other
to taste; but such a difficulty as this was soon to be overcome by
such inventions. It was therefore agreed that lord Rochester should be
dressed in woman's cloaths, and while the husband was feasting with my
lord duke, he should make trial of his skill with the old woman at
home. He had learned that she had no aversion to the bottle when she
could come secretly and conveniently at it. Equipped like a country
lass, and furnished with a bottle of spiritous liquors, he marched to
the old miser's house. It was with difficulty he found means to speak
with the old woman, but at last obtained the favour; where perfect in
all the cant of those people, he began to tell the occasion of his
coming, in hopes she would invite him to come in, but all in vain; he
was admitted no further that the porch, with the house door a-jar: At
last, my lord finding no other way, fell upon this expedient. He
pretended to be taken suddenly ill, and tumbled down upon the
threshold. This noise brings the young wife to them, who with much
trouble persuades her keeper to help her into the house, in regard to
the decorum of her sex, and the unhappy condition she was in. The door
had not been long shut, till our imposter by degrees recovers, and
bei