on which he went in, not with any
desire of playing, but to pass away some time; finding a great deal of
company there, he notwithstanding engaged himself at one of the
tables, and tho' he was not in a humour which would permit him to
exert much skill, he won considerably.
The company did not break up till five in the morning, and he then
growing drowsy, and yet unable to find any excuse to make to his
father, he could not think of seeing his face, so went to a bagnio to
take that repose he had sufficient need of, the fatigues of his mind
having never suffered him to enjoy any sound sleep, since his father's
discovery of the extravagance he had been guilty of.
On his awaking, the transaction of the preceding night returned to his
remembrance with all its galling circumstances, and the more he
reflected on his disobedience to his father, the less he could endure
the thoughts of coming into his presence:--in fine, that shame which
so often prevents people from doing amiss, was now the motive which
restrained him from doing what he ought to have done.--Had he
immediately gone home, thrown himself at his father's feet, and
confessed the truth, his youthful errors had doubtless merited
forgiveness; but this, though he knew it was both his duty, and his
interest, he could not prevail on himself to do; and to avoid the
rebukes he was sensible were due to his transgressions, he resolved to
hide himself as long as he could from the faces of all those who had a
right to make them.
In fine, he led the life of a perfect vagabond, sculking from one
place to another, and keeping company with none but gamesters, rakes,
and sharpers, falling into all manner of dissolution; and whenever his
reason remonstrated any thing to him on these vicious courses, he
would then, to banish remorse for one fault, fly to others, yet worse,
and more destructive.
It is true, he often looked back upon his _former_ behaviour, and was
struck with horror at comparing it with the _present_;--the reflection
too how much his mother-in-law might take advantage of the just
displeasure of his father against him, to prejudice him in his future
fortune, even to cause him to be disinherited, sometimes most cruelly
alarmed him; yet, not all this, nor the wants he was plunged in on an
ill run at play, (which was the sole means by which he subsisted) were
sufficient to bring him to do that which he now even wished to do,
tired with the conversation of those pr
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