effects already.
Occasionally, I try my hand at composition, but have not
completed anything to my own satisfaction. I have sketched
a number of plans, but if ever accomplished, it must be in a
season of more joyful energy, when my mind has been renovated,
and refreshed by change of scene or circumstance. My
translation of Tasso cannot be published at present, if 'it
ever is.'
* * * * *
'My object is to examine thoroughly, as far as my time
and abilities will permit, the evidences of the Christian
Religion. I have endeavored to get rid of this task as much
and as long as possible; to be content with superficial
notions, and, if I may so express it, to adopt religion as a
matter of taste. But I meet with infidels very often; two
or three of my particular friends are deists; and their
arguments, with distressing sceptical notions of my own, are
haunting me forever. I must satisfy myself; and having once
begun, I shall go on as far as I can.
'My mind often swells with thoughts on these subjects, which
I long to pour out on some person of superior calmness and
strength, and fortunate in more accurate knowledge. I should
feel such a quieting reaction. But, generally, it seems best
that I should go through these conflicts alone. The process
will be slower, more irksome, more distressing, but the
results will be my own, and I shall feel greater confidence in
them.'
MISS MARTINEAU.
In the summer of 1835, Margaret found a fresh stimulus to
self-culture in the society of Miss Martineau, whom she met
while on a visit at Cambridge, in the house of her friend,
Mrs. Farrar. How animating this intercourse then was to her,
appears from her journals.
Miss Martineau received me so kindly as to banish all
embarrassment at once. We had some talk about "Carlyleism,"
and I was not quite satisfied with the ground she took, but
there was no opportunity for full discussion. I wished to
give myself wholly up to receive an impression of her. What
shrewdness in detecting various shades of character! Yet, what
she said of Hannah More and Miss Edgeworth, grated upon my
feelings.'
Again, later:--
'I cannot conceive how we chanced upon the subject of our
conversation, but never shall I forget what she said. It has
bound me to her.
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