ourself as you please, your lofty baldness will
assuredly be seen with time. Meanwhile, you cannot escape the internal
intimations of your unsoundness. A man's pride is the front and headpiece
of his character, his soul's support or snare. Look to it in youth. I
have to thank the interminable hours on my wretched sick-bed for a
singularly beneficial investigation of the ledger of my deeds and
omissions and moral stock. Perhaps it has already struck you that one who
takes the trouble to sit and write his history for as large a world as he
can obtain, and shape his style to harmonize with every development of
his nature, can no longer have much of the hard grain of pride in him. A
proud puppet-showman blowing into Pandaean pipes is an inconceivable
object, except to those who judge of characteristics from posture.

It began to be observed by others that my father was not the most
comforting of nurses to me. My landlady brought a young girl up to my
room, and introduced her under the name of Lieschen, saying that she had
for a long time been interested in me, and had been diligent in calling
to inquire for news of my condition. Commanded to speak for herself, this
Lieschen coloured and said demurely, 'I am in service here, sir, among
good-hearted people, who will give me liberty to watch by you, for three
hours of the afternoon and three of the early part of the night, if you
will honour me.'

My father took her shoulder between finger and thumb, and slightly shook
her to each ejaculation of his emphatic 'No! no! no! no! What! a young
maiden nurse to a convalescent young gentleman! Why, goodness gracious
me! Eh?'

She looked at me softly, and I said I wished her to come.

My father appealed to the sagacity of the matron. So jealous was he of a
suggested partner in his task that he had refused my earnest requests to
have Mr. Peterborough to share the hours of watching by my side. The
visits of college friends and acquaintances were cut very short, he soon
reduced them to talk in a hush with thumbs and nods and eyebrows; and if
it had not been so annoying to me, I could have laughed at his method of
accustoming the regular visitors to make ready, immediately after
greeting, for his affectionate dismissal of them. Lieschen went away with
the mute blessing of his finger on one of her modest dimples; but, to his
amazement, she returned in the evening. He gave her a lecture, to which
she listened attentively, and came again i