h Beauchamp.
This was the effect of Beauchamp's latest words on her. He had disarmed
her anger.
'We must have a walk to-day,' he said commandingly, but it had stolen
into him that he and she were not walking on the same bank of the river,
though they were side by side: a chill water ran between them. As in
other days, there hung her hand: but not to be taken. Incredible as it
was, the icy sense of his having lost her benumbed him. Her beautiful
face and beautiful tall figure, so familiar to him that they were like a
possession, protested in his favour while they snatched her from him all
the distance of the words 'too late.'
'Will you not give me one half-hour?'
'I am engaged,' Cecilia plunged and extricated herself, 'I am engaged to
walk with Mr. Austin and papa.'
Beauchamp tossed his head. Something induced him to speak of Mr.
Tuckham. 'The colonel has discovered his Tory young man! It's an object
as incomprehensible to me as a Tory working-man. I suppose I must take
it that they exist. As for Blackburn Tuckham, I have nothing against
him. He's an honourable fellow enough, and would govern Great Britain as
men of that rich middle-class rule their wives--with a strict regard
for ostensible humanity and what the law allows them. His manners have
improved. Your cousin Mary seems to like him: it struck me when I saw
them together. Cecilia! one half-hour! You refuse me: you have not heard
me. You will not say too late.'
'Nevil, I have said it finally. I have no longer the right to conceive
it unsaid.'
'So we speak! It's the language of indolence, temper, faint hearts.
"Too late" has no meaning. Turn back with me to the park. I offer you my
whole heart; I love you. There's no woman living who could be to me the
wife you would be. I'm like your male nightingale that you told me of:
I must have my mate to sing to--that is, work for and live for; and she
must not delay too long. Did I? Pardon me if you think I did. You have
known I love you. I have been distracted by things that kept me from
thinking of myself and my wishes: and love's a selfish business while...
while one has work in hand. It's clear I can't do two things at a
time--make love and carry on my taskwork. I have been idle for weeks.
I believed you were mine and wanted no lovemaking. There's no folly
in that, if you understand me at all. As for vanity about women, I
've outlived it. In comparison with you I'm poor, I know:--you look
distressed, but
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