ust so. "Dry times, Father Noah!"]
The editors had received a liberal portion of cake from the happy couple
whose matrimonial union was recorded in the column dedicated to Hymen.
Also a superior article of [article of! bah!] steel pen from the
enterprising merchant [shopkeeper] whose advertisement was to be found on
the third page of this paper.--An interesting Surprise Party [cheap
theatricals] had transpired [bah!] on Thursday evening last at the house
of the Rev. Mr. Stoker. The parishioners had donated [donated! GIVE is
a good word enough for the Lord's Prayer. DONATE our daily bread!] a bag
of meal, a bushel of beans, a keg of pickles, and a quintal of salt-fish.
The worthy pastor was much affected, etc., etc. [Of course. Call'em.
SENSATION parties and done with it!] The Rev. Dr. Pemberton and the
venerable Dr. Hurlbut honored the occasion with their presence.--We learn
that the Rev. Ambrose Eveleth, rector of St. Bartholomew's Chapel, has
returned from his journey, and will officiate to-morrow.

Then came strings of advertisements, with a luxuriant vegetation of
capitals and notes of admiration. More of those PRIME GOODS! Full
Assortments of every Article in our line! [Except the one thing you
want!] Auction Sale. Old furniture, feather-beds, bed-spreads [spreads!
ugh!], setts [setts!] crockery-ware, odd vols., ullage bbls. of this and
that, with other household goods, etc., etc., etc.,--the etceteras
meaning all sorts of insane movables, such as come out of their
bedlam-holes when an antiquated domestic establishment disintegrates
itself at a country "vandoo."--Several announcements of "Feed," whatever
that may be,--not restaurant dinners, anyhow,--also of "Shorts,"--terms
mysterious to city ears as jute and cudbear and gunnybags to such as
drive oxen in the remote interior districts.--Then the marriage column
above alluded to, by the fortunate recipients of the cake. Right
opposite, as if for matrimonial ground-bait, a Notice that Whereas my
wife, Lucretia Babb, has left my bed and board, I will not be
responsible, etc., etc., from this date.--Jacob Penhallow (of the late
firm Wibird and Penhallow) had taken Mr. William Murray Bradshaw into
partnership, and the business of the office would be carried on as usual
under the title Penhallow and Bradshaw, Attorneys at Law. Then came the
standing professional card of Dr. Lemuel Hurlbut and Dr. Fordyce Hurlbut,
the medical patriarch of the town and his son.