or Mr. Peckham, when he had the luck to pick up such an
article. Old reputations, like old fashions, are more prized in the
grassy than in the stony districts. An effete celebrity, who would never
be heard of again in the great places until the funeral sermon waked up
his memory for one parting spasm, finds himself in full flavor of renown
a little farther back from the changing winds of the sea-coast. If such
a public character was not to be had, so that there was no chance of
heading the Report with the name of the Honorable Mr. Somebody, the next
best thing was to get the Reverend Dr. Somebody to take that conspicuous
position. Then would follow two or three local worthies with Esquire
after their names. If any stray literary personage from one of the great
cities happened to be within reach, he was pounced upon by Mr. Silas
Peckham. It was a hard case for the poor man, who had travelled a
hundred miles or two to the outside suburbs after peace and unwatered
milk, to be pumped for a speech in this unexpected way. It was harder
still, if he had been induced to venture a few tremulous remarks, to be
obliged to write them out for the "Rockland Weekly Universe," with the
chance of seeing them used as an advertising certificate as long as he
lived, if he lived as long as the late Dr. Waterhouse did after giving
his certificate in favor of Whitwell's celebrated Cephalic Snuff.

The Report of the last Committee had been signed by the Honorable,
___________late __________ of ____________, as Chairman. (It is with
reluctance that the name and titles are left in blank; but our public
characters are so familiarly known to the whole community that this
reserve becomes necessary.) The other members of the Committee were the
Reverend Mr. Butters, of a neighboring town, who was to make the prayer
before the Exercises of the Exhibition, and two or three notabilities of
Rockland, with geoponic eyes, and glabrous, bumpless foreheads. A few
extracts from the Report are subjoined:

"The Committee have great pleasure in recording their unanimous opinion,
that the Institution was never in so flourishing a condition....

"The health of the pupils is excellent; the admirable quality of food
supplied shows itself in their appearance; their blooming aspect excited
the admiration of the Committee, and bears testimony to the assiduity of
the excellent Matron.

"......moral and religious condition most encouraging, which they cannot