here in five minutes, and you know
Dobus is as punctual as clockwork." Then turning to me with a sort of
apology that was as consoling as a box on the ear, "We have some friends
at dinner, sir, who are rather particular persons; but I am sure when
they hear that you only came on a sudden invitation, they will excuse
your morning dress.--Bah! what a smell of smoke!"

With this speech madame placed herself majestically on a sofa, put out
her foot, called Fido, and relapsed into an icy silence. Frank had long
since evacuated the premises, with a rueful look at his wife, but never
daring to cast a glance at me. I saw the whole business at once: here
was this lion of a fellow tamed down by a she Van Amburgh, and fetching
and carrying at her orders a great deal more obediently than her little
yowling black-muzzled darling of a Fido.

I am not, however, to be tamed so easily, and was determined in this
instance not to be in the least disconcerted, or to show the smallest
sign of ill-humour: so to renouer the conversation, I began about Lady
Pash.

"I heard you mention the name of Pash, I think?" said I. "I know a lady
of that name, and a very ugly one it is too."

"It is most probably not the same person," answered Mrs. Berry, with
a look which intimated that a fellow like me could never have had the
honour to know so exalted a person.

"I mean old Lady Pash of Hampton Court. Fat woman--fair, ain't she?--and
wears an amethyst in her forehead, has one eye, a blond wig, and dresses
in light green?"

"Lady Pash, sir, is MY AUNT," answered Mrs. Berry (not altogether
displeased, although she expected money from the old lady; but you know
we love to hear our friends abused when it can be safely done).

"Oh, indeed! she was a daughter of old Catacomb's of Windsor, I
remember, the undertaker. They called her husband Callipash, and her
ladyship Pishpash. So you see, madam, that I know the whole family!"

"Mr. Fitz-Simons!" exclaimed Mrs. Berry, rising, "I am not accustomed to
hear nicknames applied to myself and my family; and must beg you,
when you honour us with your company, to spare our feelings as much as
possible. Mr. Catacomb had the confidence of his SOVEREIGN, sir, and Sir
John Pash was of Charles II.'s creation. The one was my uncle, sir; the
other my grandfather!"

"My dear madam, I am extremely sorry, and most sincerely apologise
for my inadvertence. But you owe me an apology too: my name is not
Fitz-Simons, but