*

I hope in the course of the above little pause, every single member of
a club who reads this has profited by the perusal. He may belong, I
say, to eight clubs; he will die, and not be missed by any of the five
thousand members. Peace be to him; the waiters will forget him, and his
name will pass away, and another great-coat will hang on the hook whence
his own used to be dependent.

And this, I need not say, is the beauty of the club-institutions. If it
were otherwise--if, forsooth, we were to be sorry when our friends died,
or to draw out our purses when our friends were in want, we should be
insolvent, and life would be miserable. Be it ours to button up our
pockets and our hearts; and to make merry--it is enough to swim down
this life-stream for ourselves; if Poverty is clutching hold of our
heels, or Friendship would catch an arm, kick them both off. Every man
for himself, is the word, and plenty to do too.

My friend Captain Walker had practised the above maxims so long and
resolutely as to be quite aware when he came himself to be in distress,
that not a single soul in the whole universe would help him, and he took
his measures accordingly.

When carried to Mr. Bendigo's lock-up house, he summoned that gentleman
in a very haughty way, took a blank banker's cheque out of his
pocket-book, and filling it up for the exact sum of the writ, orders Mr.
Bendigo forthwith to open the door and let him go forth.

Mr. Bendigo, smiling with exceeding archness, and putting a finger
covered all over with diamond rings to his extremely aquiline nose,
inquired of Mr. Walker whether he saw anything green about his face?
intimating by this gay and good-humoured interrogatory his suspicion
of the unsatisfactory nature of the document handed over to him by Mr.
Walker.

"Hang it, sir!" says Mr. Walker, "go and get the cheque cashed, and be
quick about it. Send your man in a cab, and here's a half-crown to pay
for it." The confident air somewhat staggers the bailiff, who asked him
whether he would like any refreshment while his man was absent getting
the amount of the cheque, and treated his prisoner with great civility
during the time of the messenger's journey.

But as Captain Walker had but a balance of two pounds five and twopence
(this sum was afterwards divided among his creditors, the law expenses
being previously deducted from it), the bankers of course declined to
cash the Captain's draft for two hundred and odd poun