FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210  
211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   219   220   221   222   223   224   225   226   227   228   229   230   231   232   233   234   235   >>   >|  
You told ... Adriaan...?" Van der Welcke repeated it again, smiling a little at his father's astonishment. The old man understood that he had heard quite clearly. But he was so much shocked that he could not speak. And it was only next day that he asked: "How were you able to tell Adriaan that?" "Just plainly and simply," said Van der Welcke. "Just plainly and simply?" the old man echoed. And not until that evening did he find more words; then he said: "No, I can't understand it. I can't understand you, Henri. I feel that there is a very, very deep gulf between us. I feel that there is neither love nor fear of God in you, that everything in your life, in your relations with your wife, with your child, lacks a religious tendency. It makes me very sad. I could never have pictured things like that. I at least thought that you would have asked God's forgiveness daily for the sin you once committed, the sin against yourself, your parents, that woman, her husband, against the world, against God. I never imagined you, Henri, so obdurate, so entirely without repentance, regretting merely your own ruined life and shattered career. I can only pray for you and I will pray for you, every day. Still, I can understand want of faith. But what I can't understand is that you should--plainly and simply--corrupt the soul of your son, a child of fourteen, by telling him of your sin--plainly and simply--so that he might no longer suffer: those were your words, were they not? Now, when I repeat those words to myself and repeat them again and think over them and reflect upon them, I fail to understand them. I do not understand them. I feel that you must be entirely lacking in moral sense, in any idea of duty towards your child, in any fear of God, to be able to act like that, to be able to speak like that to your son, just to spare him suffering--plainly and simply--and I ask myself, 'Am I dreaming? Where am I? Whom am I speaking to? Is the man opposite me my son, my child, brought up by myself, and is what he is telling me the truth or an illusion?' And, if that illusion is the truth, Henri, if you are so entirely lost to every sense of moral and parental duty, then I am very, very sorry to hear it and I sit staring into a horrible abyss; and I confess that I do not understand you and that I understand nothing of the world, the times and the people of to-day...." The old man had spoken slowly, measuring every word. "Fat
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210  
211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   219   220   221   222   223   224   225   226   227   228   229   230   231   232   233   234   235   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

understand

 
plainly
 

simply

 
telling
 
repeat
 

Adriaan

 

Welcke

 

illusion

 
reflect
 
parental

fourteen
 

longer

 

measuring

 

suffer

 

staring

 

people

 

horrible

 

confess

 
brought
 
opposite

speaking

 

dreaming

 

slowly

 

lacking

 

spoken

 

suffering

 
evening
 
relations
 

echoed

 
father

smiling

 
repeated
 

astonishment

 
understood
 
shocked
 

religious

 
regretting
 

repentance

 

imagined

 
obdurate

ruined

 

shattered

 

corrupt

 

career

 

husband

 

pictured

 
things
 

tendency

 

thought

 

parents