him I
recommended my poor boy. He promised to take care of him as if he were
his own son, to take him to France, and to give him over to my family.

Lastly a good Dominican friar came, and with him I had several long
conferences, and after he had dispensed to me the consolations of his
ministry, he gave me extreme unction. Everything was done according
to the customary form, and nothing was wanting but my death.

However, amidst all these preparations, I alone was not so eager;
and, although in excessive anguish, I preserved my presence of
mind, and declared I should not die. Was it courage? Was it great
confidence in my strength and robust health, which made me believe in
my recovery? Was it a presentiment, or was it an inward voice which
told me: "The doctors are wrong, and how great will be their surprise
tomorrow on finding me better?" In short, I did not wish to die; for,
according to my system, my will ought to stop the order of nature,
and to make me survive all imaginable pain.

The following day I was better: the doctors found my pulse regular,
and without any intermitting symptom. Some days afterwards the poison
passed out to my skin: my whole body was covered with a miliary
eruption, and thenceforth I was safe. My recovery was very gradual,
and for more than a year I felt acute pains in my breast.

During the course of my illness I received the kindest attention from
my fellow-countrymen, and in general from all the Spanish inhabitants
of Manilla; and here I ought to state, to the praise of the latter
class, that during twenty years spent in the Philippines, I always
found amongst those with whom I had dealings, a great nobleness of
soul and a devotedness free from egotism. I shall never forget the
kindnesses I received from this noble race, for which I entertain
feelings of the warmest gratitude. To me, every Spaniard is a brother;
and to him I shall always be happy to prove that his countrymen have
not conferred obligations on an ungrateful character. I hope the
reader will pardon me for having quitted my subject for a short time
to fulfil the duty of gratitude; but are they not my recollections
which I am detailing? [25]

The wish to undertake, together with my boy, the voyage which would
restore me to my country; the hope of seeing my kind good mother,
my sisters, and all the friends whom I had left behind, reconciled me
somewhat to existence, and made me experience a little happiness. I was
awaiti