us to admit it.

"Talking of smoking," he went on, with a soft chuckle, as at
recollections of unspeakable devilry, "did I ever tell you chaps of a
tremendous scrape I very nearly got into up at the 'Varsity? Well, you
must know there's a foolish rule there against smoking in the streets.
Not that that made any difference to some of us! Well, one night about
nine, I was strolling down Petty Cury with two other men, smoking
(Bosher of "Pothouse," and Peebles of "Cats," both pretty well known up
there for general rowdiness, you know--great pals of mine!) and, just as
we turned the corner, who should we see coming straight down on us but a
Proctor with his bull-dogs (not dogs, you know, but the strongest 'gyps'
in college). Bosher said, 'Let's cut it!' and he and Peebles bolted.
(They were neither of them funks, of course, but they lost their heads.)
I went calmly on, smoking my cigar as if nothing was the matter. That
put the Proctor in a bait, I can tell you! He came fuming up to me.
'What do you mean, sir,' says he, quite pale with anger (he was a great
bull-headed fellow, one of the strongest dons of his year, that's why
they made him a Proctor)--'what do you mean by breaking the University
Statutes in this way?' 'It _is_ a fine evening,' said I (I was
determined to keep cool). 'Do you mean to insult me?' said he. 'No, old
boy,' said I, 'I don't; have a cigar?' He couldn't stand that, so he
called up his bull-dogs. 'I give him in charge!' he screamed out. 'I'll
have him sent down!' 'I'll send you down first,' said I, and I just gave
him a push--I never meant to hurt the fellow--and over he went. I rolled
over a bull-dog to keep him company, and, as the other fellow didn't
want any more and stood aside to let me pass, I finished my stroll and
my cigar."

"Was the Proctor hurt, sir?" inquired a small boy with great respect.

"More frightened than hurt, I always said," said Mr. Tinkler lightly,
"but somehow he never would proctorise any more--it spoilt his nerve. He
was a good deal chaffed about it, but of course no one ever knew I'd had
anything to do with it!"

With such tales of Homeric exploit did Mr. Tinkler inculcate a spirit of
discipline and respect for authority. But although he had indeed once
encountered a Proctor, and at night, he did himself great injustice by
this version of the proceedings, which were, as a matter of fact, of a
most peaceable and law-abiding character, and though followed by a
pecuniary