Bad old woman I be, may'ap;
But eh, I loved 'em, the fine young men.
Marry a one of 'em? Why no, never;
They wasn't a-marryin' me whatever;
But I likes to think of 'em now and then;
For, of all the compliments, _that_ was candy,
And--ain't them dicky-birds at it dandy?
I knows the pride o' their pretty 'en!
Eh, but I loved 'em, me fine young men!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: FROM FIFE TO HARP.

MR. ASQUITH. "ONE MORE BONNIE TOOTLE, AND THEN BACK TO THAT DREARY OLD
HARP."]

[Illustration: A FORETASTE OF HOME RULE HARMONY

"Mr. Devlin here interposed with a remark which was not heard in the
gallery, and Mr. W. O'Brien, turning round to where the hon. member was
sitting, called out in an angry tone something which was not clearly
heard."--"_Times'" Report._]

* * * * *

[Illustration: If only Sir EDWARD CARSON belonged to some other
oppressed nationality--Armenia, for instance!]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Monday, April 6._--At third time of asking Home Rule
Bill read a second time. Odd feature, in curious sitting that hotly
contested measure passed crucial stage without a division. House divided
on WALTER LONG'S amendment for its rejection. When thereupon SPEAKER put
the question that "the Bill be now read a second time" there was none to
say him nay. Some folk of hopeful habit see in this incident a forecast
of the end.

Debate unexpectedly decorous, not to say decidedly dull. TIM HEALY did
something to lift it out of rut. But he was more concerned to belabour
JOHN REDMOND and to dig DEVLIN in the ribs than to argue merits of
measure. Taunted his much-loved fellow-patriot and countryman with
facing both ways on question of exclusion of Ulster. ATTORNEY-GENERAL
declared that PREMIER'S offer of exclusion for period of six years was
still open. REDMOND, believing it was dead, had, TIM said, prepared its
coffin, "and now the ATTORNEY-GENERAL comes along and forces fresh
oxygen into the corpse."

As for DEVLIN, he was introduced accidentally at end of harangue. Had
interposed comment inaudible to main body of House, but safely assumed
not to be complimentary. WILLIAM O'BRIEN turned round with angry retort.

"There is," mused TIM, "one gentleman from whom on historical grounds I
had expected firmness in regard to Ulster. It