ook_: Me--a man! Vat nonsense! I am cook! You have ze
most enormous cheek I've ever hit upon! Bah! _(Hits them with
rolling-pin.)_ Get up--you cr-r-r-rawling caterpillars! _(Knock at the
door; they scream.)_ Vat! now you make a noise, you squeaking beetles!

_Kitchen_: There's some one at the door. _(They stand trembling.)_

_Cooklet_: Oh, it sounds like a man!

_Head Cook (excitedly)_: A man--my scullions--they have retur-r-rned
to me!

_Cooklet_: The scullions! Saved! _(Runs to door_ R; _opens it.)_

_Kitchen_: Oh, it's only a beggar! Be off! _(About to shut door.)_

_Prince (outside)_: Nay, mistress, I come in search of work!

_(Enter Prince Fairasday, disguised in ragged tunic. He is red-haired,
and very handsome.)_

_Cooklet_: Work! O sir, here is a scullion for you!

_Head Cook_: Tut, tut, tut! Zat is for me to say, impertinence! You
may come in, young man. _(Prince comes down stage. Cook seats himself
importantly at table.)_ Now! Why have you come so late to ask for
work?

_Prince_: I lost my way in the forest.

_Cook_: Sir! Say, "Sir" ven you spik to me if you do not say "Most
Royal Sir." Vatever you like--but do be respectful.

_Prince (furious)_: Sir!!!!!

_Head Cook_: Zat is better--

_Prince_: Nay--sir--I--meant--

_Head Cook_: It does not matter vat you mean so long as you say,
"Sir." Now answer, if you wish for a place here! You do--eh?

_Prince_: Why--why, yes!

_Head Cook:_ Ver' good. Zen vere is your last place?

_Prince:_ I lived in the castle of Prince Fairasday--_(Cook raps on
table, annoyed.)_ Eh?

_Head Cook (shouting furiously):_ Sir!

_Prince:_ Oh--oh, yes, I beg your pardon _(humbly, laughing),_ sir.

_Head Cook:_ Vell, zen, I must know vy you leave.

_Prince:_ Why--sir--my master has fallen in love with the Princess
Fadeaway--and so I thought I would come and see what sort of a
princess she was--for my master in his love-sick fever is sad company
for any one.

_Head Cook:_ But if he is so in lof, vy does not your master come to
woo the Princess?

_Prince:_ Why, sir _(bowing)_, he had heard of too many who had been
denied admittance, and as my master is proud and determined, he made
up his mind he would not risk being turned away like the others.
But, sir, if you will let me stay and work for you, in whatever post,
however humble, I promise you if my answers do not satisfy, my service
shall.

_Head Cook:_ You are villing--ah, but zey all say that. H'm--let me
se