I'm not! There she sits all day
with those stuck-up ladies, who rule her and fool her and manage her
and bully her till she can't call her soul her own! And all the nice
young princes who come riding to the castle are sent away without
getting so much as a peep at her, because her ladies are so afraid
she'll marry one, and then their turned-up noses would be out of
joint!

_Cooklet_: They tell the princes that the Princess is too weary to be
troubled with them!

_Kitchen_: Trouble, indeed! She'd find it no trouble to choose a
sweetheart from those nice young men if she were allowed to see them,
but she'll never do that, if her ladies have a word in the matter!
_(Furious talking outside.)_

_Kitchen_: Oh dearie, dearie, dearie, dear! If it isn't the head cook!
And oh, my stars, what's happened?

_(Enter Head Cook, angrily. Kitchenmaid and Cooklet both stand
trembling with fright.)_

_Head Cook_: Nevaire did I hear such impertinence. Who has gone, do
you sink? Who has packed up their traps and left me to-night--to-night
of all nights! Ze night I make ze Christmas pie! Ze night ze Princess
comes with all her ladies to give ze final stir-about! Who? Vat? Ven?
Vy? Vy?? vy???

_Cooklet and Kitchen (falling on their knees, clasping their hands
entreatingly)_: O sir, pray calm yourself!

_Head Cook (dancing about with rage, and shouting)_: Calm! I am
nevaire so perfectly calm in my life! My scullions have gone! Zey vill
not vatch ze pie! Because zey fear ze Brownies!

_Kitchen_: The scullions gone?

_Cooklet_: Then who's to guard it?

_Head Cook_: You--of course--you earthworms!

_Both_: O dear, kind cook, we daren't! _(They grovel with fear.)_

_Head Cook (thunderously)_: Daren't?

_Cooklet_: We're afraid of the dark!

_Kitchen_: And oh, we're afraid of the Brownies!

_Head Cook_: Afraid--afraid--but vat is zere to be afraid? If ze
Brownies come, you have only to sprinkle zem with ze magical red
pepper!

_Cooklet_: I should faint directly I saw them!

_Kitchen_: O dear, good, handsome, gentle cook, please don't leave us
alone down here to-night!

_Head Cook (almost speechless with rage)_: But vat you vant? Do
you mean to say--you--vant--Me--so gr-r-r-reat--so gr-r-rand--so
mightiful--Me--Chief Head Cook--you vant zat I should keep my eyes
avake all night--ven I have a kitchenmaid and cooklet to suffaire for
me? Is zat vat you mean, heh?

_(They nod sheepishly.)_

_Cooklet_: You're a man!

_Head C