a
sameness. Hospitals; visits; sick; dying; funerals; morose topic;
oppressive.

Boer khaki in camp to-day. Result of visit, about a dozen have joined
forces of the English. Wonder if a worm wouldn't have more
self-respect! Such characters make themselves despicable and
contemptible in eyes of the English themselves. To us it brings
deep-down humiliation. Can a man sink so low? Enough.

Two night ago some women and children cleared off--"for," said they,
"lest we starve here."

Can a man (let alone a woman--breathe not of a child) remain healthy
and strong on bread, meat (miserable half-pound), coffee, and
condensed milk? And so, when a sickness comes there is nothing to
fall back upon--no resistance. And with a wasted constitution who can
battle against fever, pneumonia, and other things?

And for those that grimly struggle through, there is nothing
wherewith to nourish and strengthen; no real milk; no eggs; wine; no
delicacies such as convalescents should be tempted with. About as
saddening sight as one can dream of is a peep into the children's
ward--poor wasted, withered little innocents!

Mr. Otto buried eight this afternoon.

* * * * *

Friday, October 4.--Let me have a clean blank page for to-night in
honour of my new home! Here I sit in glorious solitude, actually in a
room! Four walls, four naked walls, but walls withal--stare down upon
me with their muddy countenances, and I have an idea that they smile
upon me in affection--four muddy brown smiles!

And so my ideal has been realised; and I am proud possessor of a
house. Really word "house"[61] seems too inadequate, too
insignificant wherewith to name it.

(Later)--Short joy; rudely awakened to sorrows of life; mother just
gone by weeping bitterly; went out and took her home to her tent;
daughter dying in hospital; Ferreira (admitted yesterday, fever).
This morning still conscious when I spoke to her, and when we read
and prayed together. And now?

Have just returned hospital; father there; girl evidently dying;
fever 105; quite unconscious; strong, strapping girl of nineteen;
knelt by bed and prayed; nothing impossible with God; while there is
life there is hope.

Will postpone description of house till another occasion; under this
cloud one's ink gets cloggy and one's pen listless.

Spent morning in hospital, and after--little visiting.

Funerals, five children; "Laat de kinderen" (Suffer the little
children