sh public? Alas,
I could weep for your short-sightedness! When the reins of the ship of
State--no, the helm of the chariot of Government, is in the hands of
a semi-barbarous public, what will it do with it? The old aristocratic
ballast once thrown overboard, it will drive that chariot upon the rocks
of anarchy, it will overturn it upon the shores of revolution. And you,
contemptible tool of an infatuated majority, what will you do then?
Ah, then, too late you will cry, "Give me back my aristocracy, the
aristocracy I so madly flung away!" When you have the Church and State
flying about your ears, you will wish you had minded what we said
to you. You will long with remorse unspeakable for the old English
gentleman, the bulwark of the land; but the good old English gentleman
will be no more. He will have gone to the vaults of his fathers, to the
happy hunting-grounds of the noble lord.'

'You are really very eloquent,' said the Democrat, with more politeness
than his wont ('I didn't think he had it in him,' he murmured under his
breath.) 'But you exaggerate our intentions. We are only democrats: we
are not Nihilists. We desire justice.'

'Ah, that is what you all say!' exclaimed the Aristocrat hastily. 'I
have heard enough about justice: I wish it had never been invented.
Never knew any of your fine-sounding phrases yet that did not end in
gunpowder.'

'You mistake,' said the Democrat severely. 'Our requirements are few and
simple: Universal suffrage, the abolition of the peers, of entail, and
of primogeniture, the overthrow of establishments and armaments equally
bloated, the right to marry the deceased wife's sister, the confiscation
of landed property by the State--'

'Oh lord, yes!' groaned the Aristocrat 'I thought you were coming to
that next. Take our landed property, do--I wish you joy of it! What
with all your Communistic legislation and bad harvests, and backing
good things that don't come off--like an ass as I was--by Jove, I feel
disposed to quit the whole business and compete for a Mandarin's Button
in China. It's the only country for a British Aristocracy to live
comfortably in and be properly appreciated, and you can't come
sneaking about with your red-hot Republicanism, for they are all good
Conservatives. Who ever heard of The Chinese Revolution?'

They parted hastily, the common consequence of all lengthy argument,
and the aristocrat repaired to his club, smoking a cigar to soothe his
ruffled feelin