racy in ourselves, and look
up to ourselves, and reverence humanity. What, I should like to know,
has the British aristocracy done for us?'

'We have set you an example,' replied his companion impressively.

'We have told you what to do and what not to do. We have employed you;
we have let you vote for us; we have represented you in Church and
State; we have given you a popular education; and a pretty use you have
made of it! We have, in short,' he continued, trying hard to remember
the popular maxim, 'cherished you like a viper, and you turn again and
rend us.'

'All that,' said the Democrat, 'you did because you couldn't help it.'
'We have been,' exclaimed the Aristocrat with deep pathos, 'as lights
in a benighted land. We have improved the breed of horses and cultivated
the fine arts, and literature, and china, and the fashions, and French
cookery--'

'And drinking, and racing, and gambling, and betting, and
pigeon-shooting,' put in the Democrat thoughtfully. 'So you have.'

'We have come to church,' continued the Aristocrat unheeding, 'and you
have surveyed us from the free seats--when you were there. I regret to
say that your attendance at the established places of worship has been
far from satisfactory. We have allowed you to pay us the highest rents
you could afford, solely to develop in you the sense of competition
and a stimulus to progress, and we have daily displayed to you, in our
persons and equipments, the advantages of the higher life. Our wives
and daughters have played the piano, done crewel work, danced, sung and
skated, and painted on plaques for your edification and improvement. We
have trained ourselves, physically, mentally, morally, and aesthetically
to be a thing of beauty in your eyes and a joy for ever. Alas, you
have no vision for the beautiful and intrinsically complete; you can't
appreciate an aristocracy when you see one. We have even flung open our
parks and grounds for your benefit, and let you admire our mansions,
and you knocked down the ornaments, and smudged the tapestry and the
antimacassars, and trod on the flower-beds, and pulled up the young
trees, and threw orange-peel into the fountains, and ridiculed the
statuary. Then you asked us for peasant proprietorship.'

'It wasn't me,' said the Democrat with unusual humility. 'It was the
British public.'

'And what are you,' retorted his companion firmly--for he felt that he
had scored a point--'but a representative of the Briti