d replied, "True, sir; and when we see a very _foolish
fellow_, we don't know what to think of _him_." He then rose up, strided to
the fire, and stood for some time laughing and exulting.

Then the oracle proceeds to talk of scorpions and natural history, denying
facts, and demanding proofs which nobody could possibly furnish:

He seemed pleased to talk of natural philosophy. "That woodcocks," said he,
"fly over the northern countries is proved, because they have been observed
at sea. Swallows certainly sleep all the winter. A number of them
conglobulate together by flying round and round, and then all in a heap
throw themselves under water and lie in the bed of a river." He told us one
of his first essays was a Latin poem upon the glowworm: I am sorry I did
not ask where it was to be found.

Then follows an astonishing array of subjects and opinions. He catalogues
libraries, settles affairs in China, pronounces judgment on men who marry
women superior to themselves, flouts popular liberty, hammers Swift
unmercifully, and adds a few miscellaneous oracles, most of which are about
as reliable as his knowledge of the hibernation of swallows.

When I called upon Dr. Johnson next morning I found him highly satisfied
with his colloquial prowess the preceding evening. "Well," said he, "we had
good talk." "Yes, sir" [says I], "you tossed and gored several persons."

Far from resenting this curious mental dictatorship, his auditors never
seem to weary. They hang upon his words, praise him, flatter him, repeat
his judgments all over London the next day, and return in the evening
hungry for more. Whenever the conversation begins to flag, Boswell is like
a woman with a parrot, or like a man with a dancing bear. He must excite
the creature, make him talk or dance for the edification of the company. He
sidles obsequiously towards his hero and, with utter irrelevancy, propounds
a question of theology, a social theory, a fashion of dress or marriage, a
philosophical conundrum: "Do you think, sir, that natural affections are
born with us?" or, "Sir, if you were shut up in a castle and a newborn babe
with you, what would you do?" Then follow more Johnsonian laws, judgments,
oracles; the insatiable audience clusters around him and applauds; while
Boswell listens, with shining face, and presently goes home to write the
wonder down. It is an astonishing spectacle; one does not know whether to
laugh or grieve over it. But we know the man,