and charioteers
and gladiators and other good fellows, not with senile self-styled
philosophers, prosy and with unkempt beards and rough cloaks, as my father
did, half of you think I am incapable of being serious, or haven't
intellect enough to understand government or sense enough to care for the
Empire.

"You are mightily mistaken. I realize the importance of my
responsibilities and the magnificence of my opportunities. I hate routine,
but I know well the value of our Empire and that I, as Prince of the
Republic, [Footnote: See Note A.] have a bigger stake in it than any other
citizen of our Republic. I am not wholly absorbed in the joys of
practicing feats of strength and skill. I put more time on governing than
you think.

"I am autocrat of our world, and I know how to make my influence felt when
I choose. I have very positive views about fighting. Fighting has to go
on, on the frontiers of the Empire. My army can keep off our foes, but it
cannot kill off the Moorish and Arab and Scythian nomads, nor the hordes
of the German forests and the Caledonian moors. The Marcomanni and the
rest will claw at us. There must be fighting on the frontiers. It is
proper that there should be fighting where necessary, on any frontier, and
corpses scattered about.

"Also corpses are in place on any arena of any amphitheatre anywhere
inside our frontiers; fighting inside amphitheatres is proper and seemly.

"But I will tolerate no fighting inside our frontiers outside the
amphitheatres. I'll not condone any corpses on the pavement of any street
or on the road of any highway or byways. I'll not permit any battles, set-
tos, affrays or brawls in towns or villages or on roads. You hear me? You
hear me, Vedius? You hear me, Satronius? You hear me, all of you?

"Now it so happened that I had heard of your disgraceful Sabine feud,
which mars the peace of a whole countryside near Reate, and I had sent a
competent and reliable agent with four assistants to investigate and
report. For once luck was with me: generally my luck as a ruler is as bad
as it is good for me as an athlete. It so happened that my agents had just
completed their preliminary investigations and acquainted themselves with
general conditions when your idiotic feud broke loose in two abductions of
women, one by each side, that put my agents on their mettle. They kept
awake. They are no fools. My head man has a keen scent for incipient
trouble; he managed to have one of