Vexed as I am, yet loth to be uncivil,
I only wish the owner at the ---!"

Father Thames (Mr. Giffard), who had been slumbering between two painted
boards, respectively inscribed "MIDDLESEX COUNTY BANK" and "SURREY BANK,"
and surrounded by flower-pots filled with bulrushes and sedge, roused by
the intended imprecation upon their host, here interrupted Egomet, and
entered into a long dialogue with him, in which he detailed all his
grievances so far as gas and steam were concerned. At length he feels
the influence of Hook as "the Great Frost," who turns

"The old blackguard to solid ice."

Upon which Egomet's remark was, that--

"The scene to Oxford shifted in a trice is,
This river-god--no longer Thames, but Isis."

Father Christmas (Mr. Crofton Croker) then appeared with a long speech
about eating, drinking, and making merry, and the wondrous power that a
good fire and a cheerful glass have upon the heart. Beholding "poor
Thames a-cold"--"an icy, heartless river"--the question follows, what

"Do I the matter see?
I'll thaw you soon--begone to Battersea,
There let thy icebergs float in Chelsea Reach."

The Great Frost, too, after much buffoonery, turns himself into

"A pleasant fall of fleecy snow,"

which he effected by the vigorous use of the kitchen dredging-box, and an
ample supply of flour, therewith bepowdering Jolly Christmas, Father
Thames, and Egomet, so plentifully as to leave no doubt upon the minds of
the audience respecting the transformation.

Another Christmas revel followed, and then came "a Grand Tournament," in
which a contest between "the Blue Knight" (Mr. Lechmere Whitmore), and
"the Yellow Knight" (Mr. Baylis), each mounted upon hobby-horses, was
most fiercely executed. Nor was the Giant Cormoran (fourteen feet in
height), nor the Queen of Beauty, nor the Dragon Queen wanted to complete
the chivalry of this burlesque upon the memorable meeting at Eglinton.

The fun which now became

"fast and furious,"

and to which an impudent but most amusing jester (Mr. Jerdan) mainly
contributed, was checked only by the announcement of supper; and as the
guests descended the stairs from the gallery, or assembled on the lobby,
they beheld their cheer borne in procession from the kitchen, headed by a
military band and a herald-at-arms. A cook, with his cap and apron of
snowy whiteness, placed a boar's head

"Bedeck'd with bays and rosemary,"

upon the