equently shrewd fellows, and could often pick up the
materials of a very smart and judicious answer from the appearance of
the customer and his question. Very often the answer was sheer nonsense.
It was, in fact, believed by many that as a rule you couldn't tell what
the response meant until after it was fulfilled, when you were expected
to see it. In many cases the answers were ingeniously arranged, so as to
mean either a good or evil result, one of which was pretty likely.

Thus, one of the oracles answered a general who asked after the fate of
his campaign as follows: (the ancients, remember, using no punctuation
marks) "Thou shalt go thou shalt return never in war shalt thou perish."
The point becomes visible when you first make a pause before "never,"
and then after it.

On a similar occasion, the Delphic oracle told Croesus that if he
crossed the River Halys he would overthrow a great empire. This empire
he chose to understand as that of Cyrus, whom he was going to fight. It
came out the other way, and it was his own empire that was overthrown.
The immense wisdom of the oracle, however, was tremendously respected in
consequence!

Pyrrhus, of Epirus, on setting off against the Romans, received equal
satisfaction, the Pythia telling him (in Latin) what amounted to this:

"I say that you Pyrrhus the Romans are able to conquer!"

Pyrrhus took it as he wished it, but found himself sadly thimble-rigged,
the little joker being under the wrong cup. The Romans beat him, and
most wofully too.

Trajan was advised to consult the oracle at Heliopolis, about his
intended expedition against the Parthians. The custom was to send your
query in a letter; so Trajan sent a blank note in an envelope. The god
(very naturally) sent back a blank note in reply, which was thought
wonderfully smart; and so the imperial dupe sent again, a square
question:

"Shall I finish this war and get safe back to Rome?"

The Heliopolitan humbug replied by sending a piece of an old grape-vine
cut into pieces, which meant either: "You will cut them up," or "They
will cut you up;" and Trajan, like the little boy at the peep-show who
asked: "which is Lord Wellington and which is the Emperor Napoleon?" had
paid his penny and might take his choice.

Sometimes the oracles were quite jocular. A man asked one of them how to
get rich? The oracle said: "Own all there is between Sicyon and
Corinth." Which places are some fifteen miles apart.

Another fe