s of disposition, that she treated me as a sister,
and would have shared with me all that she had on earth----I scarce
think I can go farther with my story!--something rises to my throat when
I recollect how I rewarded her sisterly love!--I was elder than Clara--I
should have directed her reading, and confirmed her understanding; but
my own bent led me to peruse only works, which, though they burlesque
nature, are seductive to the imagination. We read these follies
together, until we had fashioned out for ourselves a little world of
romance, and prepared ourselves for a maze of adventures. Clara's
imaginations were as pure as those of angels; mine were--but it is
unnecessary to tell them. The fiend, always watchful, presented a
tempter at the moment when it was most dangerous."
She paused here, as if she found difficulty in expressing herself; and
Lord Etherington, turning, with great appearance of interest, to Lady
Penelope, began to enquire, "Whether it were quite agreeable to her
ladyship to remain any longer an ear-witness of this unfortunate's
confession?--it seems to be verging on some things--things that it might
be unpleasant for your ladyship to hear."
"I was just forming the same opinion, my lord; and, to say truth, was
about to propose to your lordship to withdraw, and leave me alone with
the poor woman. My sex will make her necessary communications more frank
in your lordship's absence."
"True, madam; but then I am called here in my capacity of a magistrate."
"Hush!" said Lady Penelope; "she speaks."
"They say every woman that yields, makes herself a slave to her seducer;
but I sold my liberty not to a man, but a demon! He made me serve him in
his vile schemes against my friend and patroness--and oh! he found in me
an agent too willing, from mere envy, to destroy the virtue which I had
lost myself. Do not listen to me any more--Go, and leave me to my fate!
I am the most detestable wretch that ever lived--detestable to myself
worst of all, because even in my penitence there is a secret whisper
that tells me, that were I as I have been, I would again act over all
the wickedness I have done, and much worse. Oh! for Heaven's assistance,
to crush the wicked thought!"
She closed her eyes, folded her emaciated hands, and held them upwards
in the attitude of one who prays internally; presently the hands
separated, and fell gently down on the miserable couch; but her eyes did
not open, nor was there the s
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