religious. Why,
then, should qualms afflict him?
That prayer which he was accustomed to repeat to himself as he
went to rest was but a trick of his youth. It had come down to him
from old, innocent days; and though it was seldom omitted, without
a shiver, nevertheless it was repeated with contempt. In broad
daylight, or when boon companions had been with him round the
candles, blasphemy had never frightened him. But now,--now in his
troubles, he remembered that there was a hell. He could not shake
from himself the idea. For unrepented sin there was an eternity
of torment which would last for ever! Such sin as this which he
premeditated must remain unrepented, and there would be torment for
him for ever. Nevertheless, he must do it. And, after all, did not
many of the wise ones of the earth justify him in thinking that that
threat was but an old woman's tale?
Tuesday night came,--the late hours of Tuesday night,--the midnight
hour at which he was sure that the women were in bed, and the will
was taken out from its hiding-place. He had already trimmed the wick
and placed the candle on an outspread newspaper, so that no fragment
of the ash should fall where it might not be collected. He had walked
round the room to make himself sure that no aperture might possibly
be open. He put out the candle so as to see that no gleam of light
from any source was making its way into the room, and then relighted
it. The moment had come for the destruction of the document.
He read it all through yet again;--why he knew not, but in truth
craving some excuse for further delay. With what care the dying old
man had written every word and completed every letter! He sat there
contemplating the old man's work, telling himself that it was for him
to destroy it utterly by just a motion of his wrist. He turned round
and trimmed the candle again, and still sat there with the paper in
his hand. Could it be that so great a result could come from so short
an act? The damning of his own soul! Would it in truth be the giving
up of his own soul to eternal punishment? God would know that he had
not meant to steal the property! God would know that he did not wish
to steal it now! God would know that he was doing this as the only
means of escape from misery which others were plotting for him! God
would know how cruelly he had been used! God would know the injustice
with which the old man had treated him! Then came moments in which he
almost taught hi
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