a bath-chair.
CARPENTIER, now wholly bald, appeared on crutches and was seconded
by two trained nurses and his youngest grandson. Both champions
were assisted to their feet by their supporters, shook hands and
immediately clinched. In this clinch they remained throughout the
entire round, fast asleep. At the opening of the second round they
attempted to clinch again, but missed each other, overbalanced
and went to the mat. Neither could be persuaded to get up, and
consequently both were counted out.

It is therefore impossible to say who won or who lost, and the
Heavyweight Championship of the World remains as open a question as
ever.

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Second_ (_to stout entrant in a Novice Competition_).
"NOW, DON'T FORGET--AS SOON AS THE BELL GOES RUSH AT 'IM AN' KEEP
FLITTIN' IN AN' OUT LIKE BITS O' FORKED LIGHTNIN'."]

* * * * *

EVE VICTORIOUS.

"Aren't girls funny, Uncle Alan?" said Christopher.

"Christopher," I answered, "girls are the very dickens. You can't
trust 'em. Never have anything to do with girls, my boy."

"I'm not going to," said Christopher.

This is what we said to each other afterwards. If either of us had
thought of it before---- But that's the usual way, of course.

* * * * *

Christopher and I were sitting by the fire. We were very peaceful and
happy together, pretending to look at a book but really doing nothing
at all.

Then Dorothy came into the room. Dorothy is Christopher's cousin and
six years old. Not that her age matters--six, sixteen or sixty, they
are all the same.

"What are you doing?" inquired Dorothy.

"Nothing," murmured Christopher contentedly.

"I wanted you to come and play with me."

Christopher shuffled uneasily and I came to the rescue.

"Not now, Dorothy," I said; "we are too comfortable. Come and have a
look at this book with us."

Dorothy looked at me as though she had just realised my presence.

"I want Christopher to come and play with me," she repeated.

Christopher has a fine old-fashioned idea of a host's duty to his
guests. He stifled a yawn and slid from my knee.

"All right, Dorothy," he said. "What shall we play?"

Dorothy skipped like a young lamb. "Hide and Seek," she sang. "I'll go
and hide. Don't look till I call."

She danced gaily and triumphantly out of the room.

Now I don't mind being snubbed and I certa