; and as for the
first time in her life she knelt by his side and heard him as he prayed,
her heart swelled with emotion, and she longed to tell him, though she
dared not hope she was a Christian, she was still trying to lead a
different, a better life.

That afternoon in her chamber were seated Mr. Middleton and Fanny, while
Julia recounted the story of her wanderings. "The idea of leaving my
home," said she, "was not a sudden impulse, else had I returned sooner,
but it was the result of long, bitter reflection. In the first days of my
humiliation I wished that I might die, for though the thought of death and
the dread hereafter made me tremble, it was preferable to the scorn and
contempt I should necessarily meet if I survived. Then came a reaction,
and when our angel mother glided so noiselessly around my sick room; when
you, darling Fanny, nursed me with so much care, and even father's voice
grew low and kind as he addressed me, my better nature, if I had any, was
touched, and I thought I would like to live for the sake of retrieving the
past. But the evil spirit which has haunted me from infancy whispered that
as soon as I was well all would be changed. You, Fanny, would hate me, and
father would treat me as he always had, only worse."

"Poor dear child! I didn't or'to do so, I know," said Uncle Joshua, and
Julia continued: "Then I thought how the world would loathe, and despise
and point at me, until I was almost maddened, and when Dr. Gordon said I
would live, the tempter whispered suicide; but I dared not do that. About
that time I heard rumors of a marriage which would take place as soon as I
was well; and Fanny will you forgive me? I tried to be sick as long as
possible for the sake of delaying your happiness."

A pressure of the hand was Fanny's only answer, and Julia proceeded: "I
could not see you married to him. I could not meet the world and its
censure, so I determined to go away. I had thirty dollars in my purse, of
which no one knew, and taking that I started, I knew not where. On
reaching the schoolhouse something impelled me to enter it, and I found
there a young girl about my own size. Under other circumstances I might
have been frightened, but now utterly fearless, I addressed her, and found
from her answers that she was crazy. A sudden idea entered my brain. I
would change clothes with her, and thus avoid discovery. She willingly
acceded to my proposition, and in my new attire I again started tow