you could talk to me, back in those days before we were
married, about anything under the sun--things ten thousand miles above
my head; what it was that fooled me into thinking we were friends as
well as lovers. I know why you've never been able to talk to me like
that since. And I know--this is the worst of all, Roddy,--this is the
piece of knowledge that makes it impossible--I know what a good mistress
I could make. I know I could make you love me whether you wanted to or
not; whether I loved you or not. I could make other men love me, if I
could make up my mind to do it--make them tell me all their hopes and
dreams, and think I had a fine mind and a wonderful understanding. Oh,
it's too easy--it's too hatefully easy!

"Do you know why I told you that? Because if you believe it and
understand it, you will see why I can't go on living on your love.
Because how can you be sure, knowing that my position in the world, my
friends--oh, the very clothes on my back, and the roof over my head, are
dependent on your love,--how are you going to be sure that my love for
you is honest and disinterested? What's to keep you from
wondering--asking questions? Love's got to be free, Roddy. The only way
to make it free is to have friendship growing alongside it. So, when I
can be your partner and your friend, I'll be your mistress, too. But
not--not again, Roddy, till I can find a way. I'll have to find it for
myself. I'll have to go...."

She broke down there over a word she couldn't at first say, buried her
face in her arms and let a deep racking sob or two have their own way
with her. But presently she sat erect again and, with a supreme effort
of will, forced her voice to utter the word.

"I've got to go somewhere alone--away from you, and stay until I find
it. If I ever do, and you want me, I'll come back."

CHAPTER XVI

ROSE OPENS THE DOOR

The struggle between them lasted a week--a ghastly week, during which,
as far as the surface of things showed, their life flowed along in its
accustomed channels. It was a little worse than that, really, because
the week included, so an ironic Fate had decreed, Thanksgiving Day and a
jolly family party at Frederica's, with congratulations on the past,
plans for the future. And Rose and Rodney, as civilized persons will do,
kept their faces, accepted congratulations, made gay plans for the
twins; smiled or laughed when necessary--somehow or other, got through
with it.

But at al