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upon the spree, And red are cheeks of the bystanders For her acts are light and free. In a seven-ounce costume The widow of Thomas Blythe, Y-perched high on the window ledge, The difficult can-can tryeth. Ten constables they essay To bate the dame's halloing. With the widow of Thomas Blythe Their hands are overflowing, And they cry: "Call the National Guard To quell this parlous muss-- For all of the widows of Thomas Blythe Are upon the spree and us!" O long shall the eerie tale be told By that posse's surviving tithe; And with tears bedewed he'll sing this rude Ballad of the widow of Thomas Blythe. FOUR OF A KIND ROBERT F. MORROW Dear man! although a stranger and a foe To soft affection's humanizing glow; Although untaught how manly hearts may throb With more desires than the desire to rob; Although as void of tenderness as wit, And owning nothing soft but Maurice Schmitt; Although polluted, shunned and in disgrace, You fill me with a passion to embrace! Attentive to your look, your smile, your beck, I watch and wait to fall upon your neck. Lord of my love, and idol of my hope, You are my Valentine, and I'm A ROPE. ALFRED CLARKE JR. Illustrious son of an illustrious sire-- Entrusted with the duty to cry "Fire!" And call the engines out, exert your power With care. When, looking from your lofty tower, You see a ruddy light on every wall, Pause for a moment ere you sound the call: It may be from a fire, it may be, too, From good men's blushes when they think of you. JUDGE RUTLEDGE Sultan of Stupids! with enough of brains To go indoors in all uncommon rains, But not enough to stay there when the storm Is past. When all the world is dry and warm, In irking comfort, lamentably gay, Keeping the evil tenor of your way, You walk abroad, sweet, beautiful and smug, And Justice hears you with her wonted shrug, Lifts her broad bandage half-an-inch and keeps One eye upon you while the other weeps. W.H.L. BARNES Happy the man who sin's proverbial wage Receives on the instalment plan--in age. For him the bulldog pistol's honest bark Has naught of terror in its blunt remark. He looks with calmness on the gleaming steel-- If e'er it touched his heart he did not feel: Superior hardness turned its point away, Though urged by fond affinity to stay; His bloodless veins ignored the futile stroke, And moral mildew kep
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