ular gouge. They wa'n't worth the labor it took to put 'em
up. They wa'n't, now. That's the honest truth."

"What kind do you offer?"

"Well, sir, I've got the only genuine lightnin'-rod that's made. It's
constructed on scientific principles. Professor Henry says it's sure
to run off the electric fluid every time--twisted charcoal iron, glass
insulators, eight points on each rod, warranted solid platinum. We
give a written guarantee with each rod. Never had a house struck
since we began to offer this rod to the public. Positive fact. The
lightnin'll play all around a house with one of 'em and never touch
it. A thunder-storm that'd tear the bowels out of the American
continent would leave your house as safe as a polar bear in the middle
of an iceberg. Shall I run you one up?"

"I don't know," said Keyser, musingly.

"I'll put you up one cheap, and then you'll have somethin'
reliable--somethin' there's no discount on."

"You say the old rod was a fraud?"

"The deadliest fraud you ever heard of. It hadn't an ounce of platinum
within a mile of it. The man that sold it ought to be prosecuted, and
the fellow that put it up without insulators should be shot. It's too
bad the farmers should be gouged in this sort of way."

"And Bolt & Burnam's rod is not a fraud?"

"A fraud? Why, really, my dear sir, just cast your eye over Professor
Henry's letter and these certificates, and remember that we give a
_written guarantee_--a positive protection, of course."

"Just cast _your_ eye over that," said Keyser, handing him a piece of
paper.

"Well, upon my word! This is indeed somewhat--that is to say it is,
as it were--it looks--it looks a little like one of our own
certificates."

"Just so," said Keyser. "That old rod was one of Bolt & Burnam's. You
sold it to my son-in-law; you gave this certificate; you swore the
points were platinum, and your man put it up."

"Then I suppose we can't trade?"

"Well, I should think not," said Keyser. Whereupon the man mounted the
red wagon and moved on.

* * * * *

When Benjamin P. Gunn, the life insurance agent, called upon Mr.
Butterwick, the following conversation ensued:

_Gunn_. "Mr. Butterwick, you have no insurance on your life, I
believe? I dropped in to see if I can't get you to go into our
company. We offer unparalleled inducements, and--"

_Butterwick_. "I don't want to insure."

_Gunn_. "The cost is just nothing worth speaking of; a m