alk like the seven
wise men of Greece. Wilt take me as a valet?'

'A valet!' I exclaimed.

'Aye, a valet, a man-servant. I have been waited upon so long that it is
my turn to wait now, and I would not wish a more likely master. By the
Lard! I must, in applying for a place, give an account of my character
and a list of my accomplishments. So my rascals ever did with me, though
in good truth I seldom listened to their recital. Honesty--there I
score a trick. Sober--Ananias himself could scarce say that I am
that. Trustworthy--indifferently so. Steady--hum! about as much so
as Garraway's weathercock. Hang it, man, I am choke full of good
resolutions, but a sparkling glass or a roguish eye will deflect me, as
the mariners say of the compass. So much for my weaknesses. Now let me
see what qualifications I can produce. A steady nerve, save only when I
have my morning qualms, and a cheerful heart; I score two on that. I
can dance saraband, minuet, or corranto; fence, ride, and sing French
chansons. Good Lard! who ever heard a valet urge such accomplishments? I
can play the best game of piquet in London. So said Sir George Etherege
when I won a cool thousand off him at the Groom Parter. But that won't
advance me much, either. What is there, then, to commend me? Why, marry,
I can brew a bowl of punch, and I can broil a devilled fowl. It is not
much, but I can do it well.'

'Truly, good sir,' I said, with a smile, 'neither of these
accomplishments is like to prove of much use to us on our present
errand. You do, however, but jest, no doubt, when you talk of descending
to such a position.'

'Not a whit! not a whit!' he replied earnestly. '"To such base uses do
we come," as Will Shakespeare has it. If you would be able to say that
you have in your service Sir Gervas Jerome, knight banneret, and sole
owner of Beacham Ford Park, with a rent-roll of four thousand good
pounds a year, he is now up for sale, and will be knocked down to the
bidder who pleases him best. Say but the word, and we'll have another
flagon of sack to clinch the bargain.'

'But,' said I, 'if you are indeed owner of this fair property, why
should you descend to so menial an occupation?'

'The Jews, the Jews, oh most astute and yet most slow-witted master! The
ten tribes have been upon me, and I have been harried and wasted, bound,
ravished, and despoiled. Never was Agag, king of Amalek, more completely
in the hands of the chosen, and the sole difference is