s study, "listen." (He addressed him as "thou," and in this
unexpected "THOU" addressed to a man whom he knew to be a successful
rival, whom he had only just cruelly insulted, wished to kill, to tear
to pieces, in this familiar word "thou" there was a ring of irrevocable
renunciation, sad, humble supplication, and a kind of claim...) Nejdanov
recognised this claim and responded to it by addressing him in the same
way. "Listen! I've only just told you that I've refused the happiness of
love, renounced everything to serve my convictions....

"It wasn't true, I was only bragging! Love has never been offered to me,
I've had nothing to renounce! I was born unlucky and will continue so
for the rest of my days... and perhaps it's for the best. Since I can't
get that, I must turn my attention to something else! If you can combine
the one with the other... love and be loved... and serve the cause at
the same time, you're lucky! I envy you... but as for myself... I can't.
You happy man! You happy man! I can't."

Markelov said all this softly, sitting on a low stool, his head bent
and arms hanging loose at his sides. Nejdanov stood before him lost in a
sort of dreamy attentiveness, and though Markelov had called him a happy
man, he neither looked happy nor did he feel himself to be so.

"I was deceived in my youth," Markelov went on; "she was a remarkable
girl, but she threw me over... and for whom? For a German! for an
adjutant! And Mariana--"

He stopped. It was the first time he had pronounced her name and it
seemed to burn his lips.

"Mariana did not deceive me. She told me plainly that she did not care
for me... There is nothing in me she could care for, so she gave herself
to you. Of course, she was quite free to do so."

"Stop a minute!" Nejdanov exclaimed. "What are you saying? What do you
imply by the words 'gave herself'? I don't know what your sister told
you, but I assure you--"

"I didn't mean physically, but morally, that is, with the heart and
soul," Markelov interrupted him. He was obviously displeased with
Nejdanov's exclamation. "She couldn't have done better. As for
my sister, she didn't, of course, wish to hurt me. It can make no
difference to her, but she no doubt hates you and Mariana too. She did
not tell me anything untrue... but enough of her!"

"Yes," Nejdanov thought to himself, "she does hate us."

"It's all for the best," Markelov continued, still sitting in the same
position. "The last fette