in cribbing a little matter for a junket, a merry bout or so? Nay,
there are those that when they are sent to market for one joint of meat,
shall take up two on their master's account, and leave one by the way,
for some of these maids are mighty charitable, and can make a shift to
maintain a small family with what they can purloin from their masters and
mistresses.

If you send them with ready money, they turn factors, and take threepence
or fourpence in the shilling brokerage. And here let me take notice of
one very heinous abuse, not to say petty felony, which is practised in
most of the great families about town, which is, when the tradesman gives
the house-keeper or other commanding servant a penny or twopence in the
shilling, or so much in the pound, for everything they send in, and
which, from thence, is called poundage.

This, in my opinion, is the greatest of villanies, and ought to incur
some punishment, yet nothing is more common, and our topping tradesmen,
who seem otherwise to stand mightily on their credit, make this but a
matter of course and custom. If I do not, says one, another will (for
the servant is sure to pick a hole in the person's coat who shall not pay
contribution). Thus this wicked practice is carried on and winked at,
while receiving of stolen goods, and confederating with felons, which is
not a jot worse, is so openly cried out against, and severely punished,
witness Jonathan Wild.

And yet if a master or mistress inquire after anything missing, they must
be sure to place their words in due form, or madam huffs and flings about
at a strange rate, What, would you make a thief of her? Who would live
with such mistrustful folks? Thus you are obliged to hold your tongue,
and sit down quietly by your loss, for fear of offending your maid,
forsooth!

Again, if your maid shall maintain one, two, or more persons from your
table, whether they are her poor relations, countryfolk, servants out of
place, shoe-cleaners, charwomen, porters, or any other of her menial
servants, who do her ladyship's drudgery and go of her errands, you must
not complain at your expense, or ask what has become of such a thing, or
such a thing; although it might never so reasonably be supposed that it
was altogether impossible to have so much expended in your family; but
hold your tongue for peace sake, or madam will say, You grudge her
victuals; and expose you to the last degree all over the neighbourhood.

Thus h