try will soon be put to some expense on my
account; either a monument, or a new pension and honours; for I have not
the smallest doubt but that a very few days, almost hours, will put us
in battle. The success no man can ensure; but for the fighting them, if
they can be got at, I pledge myself. The sooner the better: I don't like
to have these things upon my mind."

At this time he was not without some cause of anxiety: he was in want
of frigates, and the eyes of the fleet, as he always called them; to
the want of which the enemy before were indebted for their escape, and
Buonaparte for his arrival in Egypt. He had only twenty-three ships;
others were on the way, but they might come too late; and though Nelson
never doubted of victory, mere victory was not what he looked to; he
wanted to annihilate the enemy's fleet. The Carthagena squadron might
effect a junction with this fleet on the one side; and on the other it
was to be expected that a similar attempt would be made by the French
from Brest; in either case a formidable contingency to be apprehended
by the blockading force. The Rochefort squadron did push out, and had
nearly caught the AGAMEMNON and L'AIMABLE in their way to reinforce the
British admiral. Yet Nelson at this time weakened his own fleet. He had
the unpleasant task to perform of sending home Sir Robert Calder, whose
conduct was to be made the subject of a court-martial, in consequence
of the general dissatisfaction which had been felt and expressed at his
imperfect victory. Sir Robert Calder and Sir John Orde, Nelson believed
to be the only two enemies whom he had ever had in his profession; and
from that sensitive delicacy which distinguished him, this made him the
more scrupulously anxious to show every possible mark of respect and
kindness to Sir Robert. He wished to detain him till after the expected
action, when the services which he might perform, and the triumphant joy
which would be excited, would leave nothing to be apprehended from
an inquiry into the previous engagement. Sir Robert, however, whose
situation was very painful, did not choose to delay a trial from the
result of which he confidently expected a complete justification;
and Nelson, instead of sending him home in a frigate, insisted on his
returning in his own ninety-gun ship--ill as such a ship could at that
time be spared. Nothing could be more honourable than the feeling by
which Nelson was influenced; but, at such a crisis, it ou