ght from the green of the fields was like a caress to his eyes. I
should hate it, he thought. I should hate the whole damned planet for
what it's taken from me. But that's not right--Serrengia hasn't taken
anything. It's only that Bonnie and I can't live in the same world, or
live the same kind of lives. Roddy was like her. But I didn't know then.
I didn't know how either of them were.

We have to go on. There's no going back. Maybe if I'd known, I would
have made it different for all of us. I can't now, and it would be crazy
to start hating Serrengia for the faults that are in us. Who could do
anything but love this fresh, wild planet of ours--?

He ought to go down and take a look at the field, he thought. He rose to
go in and tell Bonnie. The crops hadn't had water since Roddy took sick.

He found Bonnie in the bedroom with the drawers of their cabinets open
and their trunk in the middle of the floor, its lid thrown back. Clothes
lay strewn on the bed.

He felt a slow tightening of his scalp and of the skin along the back of
his neck. "Bonnie--"

She straightened and looked into his face with cold, distant eyes. "I'm
packing, Mark," she said. "I'm leaving. I'm going home. The girls are
going with me. You can stay until they dig your grave beside Roddy's,
but I'm going home."

Jorden's face went white. He strode forward and caught her by the arms.
"Bonnie--you know there's no way to go home. There won't be a ship for
six years. This is home, Bonnie. There's no other place to go."

For a moment the set expression of her face seemed to melt. She frowned
as if he had told her some mystery she could not fathom. Then her
countenance cleared and its blank determination returned. "I'm going
home," she repeated. "You can't stop me. I've done all a wife can be
expected to do. I've given my son as the price of your foolishness. You
can't ask for more."

He had to get out. He felt that if he remained another instant just then
something inside him would explode under the pressure of his grief. He
went to the front door and stood leaning against it while he looked over
the landscape that almost seemed to reach out for him in hate as it had
for Roddy. So you want her, too! he cried inside himself.

Alice came up and tugged at his hand as he stood there. "What's the
matter, Daddy? What's the matter with Mama?"

He bent down and kissed her on the forehead. "Nothing, honey. You go and
play for a moment while I help Mother."