to have a cane seat in the chair and a
piping hot fire in the range.

Then he would simplify his toilet till he got it about as we used to
have it before diving into the old swimming-hole. When he had reached
that point, he brought out a dark-colored quilt with a white ruffle all
around the edge. (We liked dark quilts and had quite a number that never
seemed to need washing.) In the middle of this quilt he had cut a hole,
just large enough to poke his head through and be snug about the neck.
When he got that on he pulled on a pair of old slippers that he had
tacked tin soles onto. The next and last piece to the harness was his
red and blue worsted toboggan cap with a long peak minus the tassel--it
was very necessary for the head to get the full benefit or you'd catch
cold. This cap he pulled down well over his head and ears, and then he
stood on a box and mounted the fiery throne, sitting down mighty easy
while spreading the quilt over the back of the chair, and holding it out
well so that the pointed ends were as close to the lids as possible to
keep the cold air of the room off his shin bones.

It sort of reminded me of an old turkey gobbler; I don't know why, for
it was such a serious business with Jim, and he looked so glum. But with
the pointed ends dragging, he seemed to be strutting, and when he got
heated up nicely and began to drip on the hot lids, the "hist" noise it
made was just the same as an old gobbler's.

I've known him to swelter there in his turkey bath till he fairly
sizzled, "hissing" like the proudest gobbler on the farm, and then step
off easy onto the box, jump into bed, pull a heap of blankets over him
and enjoy a good wilt.

It is the most natural thing in the world that the quilt caught fire
without Jim noticing it. And thus ended our housekeeping.

I woke up six weeks later in a hospital.

CHAPTER VI

The circus side-shows used to exhibit specimens of the human family who
were nothing but head. They had been sliced off clean at the neck and
rested comfortably with the stump on a parlor table. The underside had
evidently healed over nicely without corns, for they were the most
amiable and smiling people you would find in the whole show. Spectators
were not allowed within six feet of these people in reduced
circumstances, for it was plainly desirable that no one should kick the
table over or playfully tap them to see if they were really alive.
Sceptics in the crowd said that mirr