to smash
this one."

He sat down on the grass, but we were all so suffocated by laughter
that none of us could condole with him, and if any one had ventured to
say "Bad luck," I am sure Lambert would have treated him with scorn.

Dennison had two balls which did not bowl him, but Higgs made no
mistake with the next one, and the Burlington men played catch once
more. In the end we managed to make 33, though hardly any of the runs
were made off Higgs, and twelve of them came from two balls which were
lost quite close to the wickets. Nine of the Burtington men made 18
runs, for Collier bowled very straight until he got hopelessly out of
breath, and then Bagshaw, who laughed all the time Collier was bowling,
would not take him off, though the wretched man was panting like a
grampus. "This last fellow is sure to be a 'sitter,'" Bagshaw said,
"here is Collier's chance to bowl right through an innings, I don't
suppose he has ever done it before."

But Collier, who was searching after breath and not troubling about
records, was indignant with Bagshaw, and when Lambert, who said that
the sun was in his eyes, missed two catches off consecutive balls,
Collier said something to him at the end of the over which disturbed
the harmony of our XI. for several minutes. Unfortunately the last
Burtington batsman was more of a wag than a "sitter," he was the funny
man of the team, and was so delighted with his own wit that Bagshaw
said it would be a shame not to let him enjoy himself.

"Every village team has its funny man," he said, "and we are jolly
lucky to get him in last." I am sure Bagshaw was what is called a good
sportsman, but he was too kind to be a good captain. I thought Sam
Jenks was a harmless idiot when he came in with only one pad, and that
on the wrong leg, but by the time he had fooled us out of eight or nine
runs I was simply sick to death of him. Lambert stated in a loud voice
that it was not cricket, and Collier, who was most completely
disorganized both in body and temper, retorted that if it had been
cricket Lambert would not have been playing; while Sam, who in some
ways was not such an ass as he tried to make out, played the next ball
slowly to Lambert at short leg, and ran down the pitch exhorting him to
throw it at Collier's head as soon as he got hold of it. Possibly this
advice, combined with a natural inability to stoop quickly, made
Lambert even slower than usual in picking up the ball, but when he