time to make my
collections, and, besides paying off the debt already accumulated,
enable me to acquire a surplus to meet the notes given, from time to
time, for paper and printing.

At the end of a year, my list, through various exertions and
sacrifices, had arisen to twelve hundred. On this I had collected eight
hundred dollars, and I calculated that there were about sixteen hundred
dollars due me, which, I thought, if all collected in, would about
square me up with the world. This I thought. But, when I came to go
over my bill-book and ledger, I found, to my utter dismay, that I owed
three thousand five hundred dollars! This must be a mistake, I said,
and went over my books again. The result was as at first. I owed the
money, and no mistake. But how it was, I could not for some time
comprehend. But a series of memorandums from my cash-book, and an
examination of printers' and paper makers' bills, at length made all
clear. I had used, on my own personal account, four hundred dollars
during the year. Office rent was two hundred and fifty. My carriers had
cost over a hundred dollars. My boy one hundred and fifty, and ninety
had been paid to the clerk during the first three months. Sundry little
items of expense during the year made an aggregate of over a hundred.
Paper and printing for the first three months had been nearly a
thousand dollars, and for the last three quarters about twenty-two
hundred dollars.

To go on with this odds against me, I had sense enough to see was
perfect folly. But, how could I stop? I was not worth a dollar in the
world; and the thought of wronging those who had trusted me in full
reliance upon my integrity, produced a feeling of suffocation. Besides,
I had worked for a year as few men work. From sunrise until twelve,
one, and two o'clock, I was engaged in the business or editorial duties
appertaining to my enterprise, and to abandon all after such a struggle
was disheartening.

After much deliberation, I concluded that the best thing I could do was
to sell out my list of subscribers to another and more successful
establishment in the city, and, for this purpose, waited upon the
publisher. He heard me, and after I had finished, asked my terms. I
told him fifteen hundred dollars for the list. He smiled, and said he
wouldn't give me five hundred for the whole concern, debts and all. I
got up, put on my hat, and left him with indignant silence.

To go on was the worst horn for me to grasp