`he's a beastly sneak' means _you_, old man. `King meanly tells
Parrett. He [that is, King] is a beastly sneak.' That makes it all
right."

"Does it?" cried the indignant King--"does it make it all right! I'll
make it all right for him, I can promise him. I never sneaked of him in
my life!"

"Wire in, old man, and get to the race," urged Parson impatiently.

"Here, this looks like it," said Telson, reading. "`Being the boat-race
no afternoon school I am pleased. A vast mass on the towpath I being in
flannels waited twenty-three minutes for the start. Meditating as I
stood, how vast is the world.' (Hullo! he had that before; that seems
to be his usual meditation.) `How vast is the world. I am small in the
world Parson is a conceited ass.'"

Parson turned very red in the face, of course, at this unexpected turn,
which, however, his two companions greatly enjoyed.

"`Parson is a conceited ass--'"

"I say, you needn't go over it twice," expostulated the injured youth.

"`A conceited ass,'" continued Telson, his voice wavering with
suppressed laughter. "`He thinks he is a great man but he's little in
the world and fond of gross conduct. He and Telson are the conceitedest
asses in Willoughby.'"

This double shot fairly broke down the gravity both of reader and
audience, and it was some little time before the diary could proceed.
The account of the race which followed was evidently not original. It
appeared to be copied verbatim from an account of the last University
Boat-race, with a few interpolations intended to adapt it to the present
circumstances. It began thus:

"`Punctually at half-past eight ["eight" scratched out and "three"
substituted] Mr Searle [altered to Mr Parrett] gave the signal to go,
and at the word the _sixteen_ oars dashed simultaneously into the water.
The Oxonians were the first to show a lead, and at the Creek ["Creek"
scratched out and nothing substituted] were a foot to the good. The
Craydle is a pleasing river with banks running up from the sea to slopes
up the Concrete Wall this advantage was fully maintained ["maintained"
altered to "lost"]--'"

"Oh, skip all that," said Parson impatiently; "go on to the part about
Willow Corner."

"`About a mile from home the Oxford stroke ["stroke" altered to
"Bloomfield"] spurted, and the dark blue flag ["dark blue" altered to
"schoolhouse"] once more shot ahead. Gross steering by Parson, who I
allude to above, who steers his boat