d been part of it,
certainly. Even then I had not wanted her to turn her back on her world,
but if Rakhal had remained with Terra, I would have accepted his
marriage to Juli. Accepted it. I'd have rejoiced. God knows we had been
closer than brothers, those years in the Dry-towns. And then, before
Miellyn's flashing eyes, I suddenly faced my secret hate, my secret
fear. No, the quarrel had not been all Rakhal's doing.

He had not turned his back, unexplained on Terra. In some unrecognized
fashion, I had done my best to drive him away. And when he had gone, I
had banished a part of myself as well, and thought I could end the
struggle by saying it didn't exist. And now, facing what I had done to
all of us, I knew that my revenge--so long sought, so dearly
cherished--must be abandoned.

"We still have to deal with the bird," I said. "It's a gamble, with all
the cards wild." I could dismantle it, and trust to luck that Wolf
illogic didn't include a tamper mechanism. But that didn't seem worth
the risk.

"First I've got to _find_ Rakhal. If I set the bird free and it killed
him, it wouldn't settle anything." For I could not kill Rakhal. Not,
now, because I knew life would be a worse punishment than death. But
because--I knew it, now--if Rakhal died, Juli would die, too. And if I
killed him I'd be killing the best part of myself. Somehow Rakhal and I
must strike a balance between our two worlds, and try to build a new one
from them.

"And I can't sit here and talk any longer. I haven't time to take you--"
I stopped, remembering the spaceport cafe at the edge of the Kharsa.
There was a street-shrine, or matter transmitter, right there, across
the street from the Terran HQ. _All these years...._

"You know your way in the transmitters. You can go there in a second or
two." She could warn Juli, tell Magnusson. But when I suggested this,
giving her a password that would take her straight to the top, she
turned white. "All jumps have to be made through the Mastershrine."

I stopped and thought about that.

"Where is Evarin likely to be, right now?"

She gave a nervous shudder. "He's everywhere!"

"Rubbish! He's not omniscient! Why, you little fool, he didn't even
recognize me. He thought I was Rakhal!" I wasn't too sure, myself, but
Miellyn needed reassurance. "Or take _me_ to the Mastershrine. I can
find Rakhal in that scanning device of Evarin's." I saw refusal in her
face and pushed on, "If Evarin's there, I'll prove