tar an' feathers the minnit 'e 'as a misforchun!"

Hozier found a gnawed piece of ham-bone lying in the exact position
anticipated by Coke. An elderly salt who had served with the P. & O.
recalled a similar incident as having occurred on board an Indian mail
steamer while passing through the Straits of Bab-el-Mandeb. He drew a
lurid picture of the captain's dash across the forms of lady passengers
sleeping inside a curtained space on deck, and his location of the area
of disturbance with an ax just in time to prevent a disaster.

The carpenter busied himself with sawing and hammering during the whole
of the next two days, for the _Andromeda_ revealed many gaps in her
woodwork, but the escapade of an errant ham-bone was utterly eclipsed
by a new sensation. At daybreak one morning every drop of water in the
vessel's tanks suddenly assumed a rich, blood-red tint. This unnerving
discovery was made by the cook, who was horrified to see a ruby stream
pouring into the earliest kettle. Thinking that an iron pipe had
become oxidized with startling rapidity, he tried another tap.
Finally, there could be no blinking the fact that, by some uncanny
means, the whole of the fresh water on board had acquired the color if
not the taste of a thin Burgundy.

Coke was summoned hastily. _Noblesse oblige_; being captain, he
valiantly essayed the task of sampling this strange beverage.

"It ain't p'ison," he announced, gazing suspiciously at the little
group of anxious-faced men who awaited his verdict. "It sartinly ain't
p'ison, but it's wuss nor any teetotal brew I've tackled in all me born
days. 'Ere, Watts, you know the tang of every kind o' likker--'ave a
sup?"

"Not me!" said Watts. "I don't like the look of it. First time I've
ever seen red ink on tap. For the rest of this trip I stick to bottled
beer, or somethink with a label."

"It smells like an infusion of permanganate of potash," volunteered
Hozier.

"Does it?" growled Coke, who seemed to be greatly annoyed. "Wot a pity
it ain't an infusion of whisky an' potash!" and he glared vindictively
at Watts. "Some ijjit 'as bin playin' a trick on us, that's wot it
is--some blank soaker 'oo don't give a hooraw in Hades for tea an'
corfee an' cocoa, but wants a tonic. Stooard!"

"Yes, sir," said the messroom attendant.

"Portion out all the soda water in the lockers, an' whack it on the
table every meal till it gives out. See that nobody puts away more'n
'is proper