is true,)
"Don't you know, you fat-headed old dunce,
Dose vill gif you de tic-doul-our-eux."

Dey von't let me no liverwurst eat;
For dey say it ain't fit for de crows.
Ven I ask for some shmiercase so shweet,
Den dey laugh und dey turn up deir nose,
Dey shoost feed me some custards und jell
Und some broth dat I drink mit a cup,
How dey tink I vill efer get vell
If dey don't keep mine stomach filled up?

Ven dis var vill get ofer you pet!
Den some pickled pig's feet I vill buy,
Mit bologna and shnapps, maype yet,
Und some coffee to drink ven I'm dry,
Britty soon to mine bed I musht go,
So no more I can't write you shoost now;
Gif mine luf to dose beeples ve know
Und take some for yourself, mine dear frau.

Mine truly, Fritz.

KATRINA REPLIES

Mine dear Fritz,--Vot to tink I don't know,
Ven dose hospital letters I get,
But mine tears dey vill run britty shlow,
Till I hear some tings different yet,
Ven you're sick like you tries to make oudt,
Vot you vant mit some shmeircase to eat,
Und pork sausages, coffee and kraut
Und limburger und pickled pig's feet?

I shoost tink you contented might shtay,
Till de var is all ofer und done,
Mit some custards und jells like you say,
Dat is better dan facing de gun.
Ve get nefer such goot tings like dese
Here at home in de old Faderland,
For dose English shut up all de seas
Ven to shtarve us goot Shermans dey planned.

Ven de men und de poys vent avay
For to fight for de goot Faderland,
Den de vomans must vork all de day
Mit a piece of plack bread in deir hand.
Dere's no meat now, nor butter at all,
Shoost de tings ve can grow in de ground;
Und already I'm getting so shmall,
Dat mine dress vill go twice times around.

All dat cash in de bank dat ve haf,
Ven de Kaiser's men need it, dey said,
If dey takes efry cent dat ve save,
Schraps of baper dey gifs us instead.
But I fool dose chaps vonce, britty soon,
For I put all de gold in a sack,
Mit your vatch, und mine brooches und shpoon
In de garden I bury dem back.

Yours yet, Katrina.

FRITZ LEARNS ABOUT CANADA

Vot's de use for some beeples to blow,
Und to make some beeg fools